Writer's Block: How old is too old?

[tabular_rasa]

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Um, I'm sorry, yes, there is a point at which you are a creepy asshole for going around your neighborhood knocking on doors and asking near-strangers for candy. Would you really hand out candy corn to some 30-year-old just because s/he knocked on your door in a costume and held out a pillowcase? (And technically threatened you? Because that's what "trick or treat" means . . . ).

I mean, you're never too old to get in the spirit of Halloween; I love dressing up and going to Halloween parties, and I'll be wearing a costume to hand out candy and take my kids trick-or-treating (without asking for candy for myself-- though I may hit my kids up for an "escort fee" :-P) when I have a home and a family. And there's no reason I won't partake of a candy bowl offered by a party host-- or enjoy candy I've purchased myself! I love Halloween and I love Halloween candy and I'm not about to rain on the Halloween parade.

But I still think 8th grade is about the last year one can get away with going trick-or-treating. If your college dorm does some intra-dorm trick-or-treating event that's obviously completely different, but I don't think I'm being too much of a Halloween Scrooge to think that the average suburban denizen does not owe highschoolers (or adults!) candy. In high school I switched to (dressing up and) handing out candy instead, and I was always quite irritated by the kids I knew from school who showed up asking my family for candy when they were old enough to work a job and drive a car to the store to buy some for themselves.

Edit (5:55 pm): Wow, I cannot believe how many people are responding to this that "You're never too old!" and "Everyone deserves candy!" Well, obviously they're all just out trick-or-treating themselves and have never been on the giving end. Candy costs money, guys. It's not fair for me to have to spend twice as much on my candy bowl just because I decide to be a giver rather than a taker and a lot of people won't grow up.

And if everyone trick-or-treated, then who would stay in to hand out the candy? Either a very small population gets stuck spending hundreds of dollars to outfit a lot of overgrown adults with their sugar fix, or there's no one left to hand out candy at all-- and then where would we be? Please leave it to the kids.

Comments

[jenny_evergreen]

I agree with you! (Surprise. :P)

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Apparently 90% of LJ doesn't. Seriously, look at the "View Answers." I get that "YAYZ CANDY IS FOR EVERYONE!" sounds like a sweet sentiment, but who's going to pay for that?

This kind of makes me concerned about handing about candy now. I'm terrified I will turn away some 18-year-old asshole (and I will turn them away) who feels totally entitled to candy and they will egg my house or something just for enforcing Halloween as a kids' holiday.

Though part of me feels like maybe I can hand out alternate presents to older *kids.* Like condoms: either they're embarrassed and never show up at my house again, or they're grateful for the functional birth control and maybe actually use it!

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

Lol! yes! You should so do that! Haha.

I know a couple of years ago my friends went trick-or-treating, "for old times' sake", (I was supposed to join them but something came up so I couldn't). But they only went down a few houses on one street, much different from being a little kid and going all over the neighborhood. I'd say that would be ok, a few pieces of candy seems a small price to pay for reliving your childhood. But they said after those 5-6 houses they felt it was enough, I guess the idea is that generally after you're in high school, walking all over the neighborhood in costume asking for candy, "allowed" or not, isn't that desirable.

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

I guess it's just I have a lot of experience being on the handing-out side of things, since I stopped in 8th grade and handed out candy until college, but it seems like generally the little kids get in adorable costumes, walk around the block, and get a reasonable amount of candy-- while the teens barely even try with the costume (a black hoodie and eye makeup? That's not a costume, that's what you wear to school every day!) but hit up several neighborhoods, lugging around five-pound pillowcases by the end of the night worth probably about $30 in chocolate and sugar. They also are more likely to keep ringing doorbells past trick-or-treat hours (or just a decent hour, if they don't specify them)-- when the little kids have already gone to bed and the parents would like to as well.

I'm sure there are some discreet and enthusiastic older kids, but unfortunately the manipulative ones have ruined the image for me-- and in principle I still stand that if you can drive yourself to the store, you should get your own candy-- and maybe have a Halloween party with your friends instead, or something. (When you're 16, isn't that more fun anyway?).

My neighbors used to give me a small selection of treats well into my teens (since they also gave them to my siblings) and when I served as an escort to my siblings I often got "Well aren't you a nice sister" candy from people. It's not like you'll go completely without candy even if you don't explicitly partake in trick-or-treating.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it is more about the behavior than the age, then. I don't think I'd want the type of teenagers you talked about trick or treating, 9th grade or college-aged. Personally, I wasn't even that into the candy so much as the experience. (Usually even as a kid I didn't finish all my Halloween candy, even over time. Plus I was pretty picky about which candy I liked.) I do think when you are older, costume parties are more fun anyway, so maybe it's like a natural transition, rather than a hard cutoff for trick or treating eligibility.

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

Oh, whoops, that above message was me. I forgot to log in. >.<

Also, ironically enough, my roommate and her friend just came home today with bags full of candy from trick-or-treating. Which kinda rubbed me the wrong way at first, since I had suggested retro-trick-or-treating at first, expecting like I mentioned to only go down one street and get a bit of candy before heading home, and they had shot down the idea saying it was not cool and we didn't have time. But I found out later that it was a last-minute thing- my friend was taking her little cousins. And that made sense.

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Well, it still is about age, though, in as far as teens over 16 can legally work a job, earn their own money, and buy their own candy. I don't mind when they're out assisting younger siblings/cousins/etc; I give them candy for that (since I've been in the same position). It's more the teen-only groups (or random solitary individuals) that bother me, because it's totally easy for them to buy their own candy and do something more age-appropriate that doesn't cost me anything. It is not my obligation to pay for your Halloween fun when you are otherwise capable of doing it yourself.

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

True, but how many of those kids actually pay for the parties they have (with the offered food, candy, decorations, etc) themselves? It's going to be somebody's parent. And how much candy have we eaten at WashU paid for not by us? I suppose one could argue that in those cases it's an individual's parent, or tuition money, or someone, who had consented to paying for teenage antics, when you'd only consented to buying candy to be consumed by children.

I'm not saying you're wrong to do so, I'm sure many people would be less likely to buy candy if they were visited only by teens when they expect little children. It's just interesting that people will spend money to further the fun of children, but it would be strange, almost rude, to ask strangers to finance a high school halloween party. (I think it would not go over well for the parent throwing the party to even ask other parents for contributions. It would be weird, but why should it be? Double standard?)

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

I suppose one could argue that in those cases it's an individual's parent, or tuition money, or someone, who had consented to paying for teenage antics, when you'd only consented to buying candy to be consumed by children.
That's exactly the argument I was going to make :-P It's all a matter of the free will of the person who is paying for the fun. They should get to set the rules about what is done with their contribution.

Handing out candy to children on Halloween is a choice, too. Plenty of people don't. But for those that do, I think it's fair for them to choose who they give it to.

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

True, since they are giving at all out of the kindness of their hearts, they should have a say in who they give to. I guess the problem arises on whether it's socially acceptable to give to some and not others. Maybe the best you could do if you wanted to give only to the little children (or those accompanying said children) would be to come answer the door but only get your candy for the kids, and say you aren't giving any out if teens come to your door. Still, that seems too deceptive for something as innocent as trick-or-treating.. :/

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

I guess the problem arises on whether it's socially acceptable to give to some and not others.
Lol, that's fine with me . . . I've never had a problem with not being "socially acceptable" :-P

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

Haha fair enough then! ;P

[jenny_evergreen]

I am really hoping that most people are answering without thinking about it!

OMGthatisAWESOME! I am TOTALLY handing out condoms to anyone who looks to be over 16. They will totally be back next year, but, hey, I'm doing my part to prevent teenage pregnancy/STDs. :P

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I feel like it would get you arrested for sexual abuse or something, but I think it's an awesome idea: Win win either way!

[jenny_evergreen]

*chuckle* It might get some awkward feedback from parents, but, since it's one house out of however many they visit, how would they know? *grin*

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Depends on how well they're paying attention when you stick in their bag, probably. I mean, I have had some kids whine right in front of me about what I put in their bags . . .

I wonder if you could get in trouble for it somehow, legally. Because if you can't-- and I feel like you shouldn't, since they're coming to YOUR house and begging for things YOU paid for which you give out of the goodness of your heart (but, well . . . you live in the Midwest, lol, you understand)-- I'm seriously considering it an option. I wonder if I could check in with the police and get some sort of carte blanche from legitimate complaints before I even start.

[jenny_evergreen]

Heh, I've had that once so far. So rude!

Well, condoms aren't a controlled substance; even a 9 year old can legally go to the store and buy some (even if it would raise some eyebrows), so I can't see how handing them out could be illegal in any way. *goes to double check that* Yeah, it looks like there aren't any laws involved in that anymore, though there once were, the last was struck down in the sixties. (Yay, sixties! *grin*)

[hipchicken.livejournal.com]

Okay, totally in love with the condom idea.

[hipchicken.livejournal.com]

Ha, I trick or treated my senior year, but there was a big group of us. It was pretty ridiculous. I agree with you, especially since I bought candy for the few groups of children that might stop by our sleepy little cul-de-sac. I mostly bought it for myself. Haha.

[ascenseur.livejournal.com]

haha I totally agree with you. I mean, I love free candy, but I'd feel really weird about wandering around and asking for it at this age....? I think 9th grade was technically the last year I went but it felt weird and I didn't have much fun.

[geni91782.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on this one. I took Dee trick or treating today and there was this group of teenaged girls out. First of all, they had on some pretty slutty outfits, so I was already annoyed. But there's just a point where you stop trick or treating and they were FAR past it! And they said something snotty to my friend's son, who is only 8. I wanted to smack the entire lot of them.

So, yes, there is a cut off point!

[landed.livejournal.com]

I'm a little late to the party here, but I just want to add my two sense, while I haven't read the other comments. I trick-or-treated all through high school. I was just a dork like that, and I enjoyed it. sometimes I went out with friends and sometimes with younger kids from my neighborhood. But I feel if teenagers are trick-or-treating, more power to them. Better that than out at some party drinking underage, right?

Btw, first time commenting here. Feel free to add me if you wish, but I dont post too often and don't even get to reading friends' posts as much as I used to.

[landed.livejournal.com]

"two CENTS," ha.

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Depends on the kid, honestly. If we're talking some costumeless brat who is going to take handfuls of candy without a word of thanks, harass other trick-or-treaters, steal candy bags, and basically just ruin other peoples' fun, I'd rather they just stayed inside and got drunk, so long as they don't 1) get so inebriated they put themselves in danger 2) get in a car and put others in danger. (So far as the underage drinking is a victimless crime, it doesn't bother me).

However, I don't have a problem with teens who chaperone siblings or other young relatives; I've been there myself and I think it warrants a reward because it prevents alternatives like partying. And obviously just because I have my age limits in place doesn't mean there aren't nicer and richer folks out there who don't mind a costumed and polite teenager. But one nice neighbor is one nice neighbor, not a standard to which all others must conform. Just because your neighbors gave you candy doesn't mean I have to, too.

As far as teen-only groups and individuals go, I think it comes down a case of At Your Own Risk. If you're a teen who wants to give trick-or-treating a shot, be my guest-- just recognize there are those who can't (because they only estimated buying enough candy for the under-teen set) or won't give you candy, accept that with grace, and do not under any circumstances attempt retaliation. You are not entitled to candy. (Of course, neither are the younger kids). It's really just the attitude of entitlement that has me raging at this point. The people who are handing out the candy are doing it out of the goodness of their heart and the contents of their own pockets, so for chrissake let them set the rules.