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tabular_rasaWhy does the little guy who shrieks with laughter in the beginning of "Wipeout" by The Beach Boys remind me of Mrs. Corey? I don't know; that's just really odd . . . I've never actually seen what he actually looks like, but he sounds like Mrs. Corey . . . for some reason . . .
I wrote my entry from earlier today and pretty much went to sleep. I woke up with just enough time to make it to Sarah's party.
Well, would have, if I hadn't gotten completely, utterly, and totally lost, lol . . . I had to drive back home, and call her, and show up about a half-hour late, lol . . .
Sarah's party was fun. It was a nice party; we ate lots of food and played Spoons and sat around and played Mafia for a long time, and we even played with Legos for a little while, lol . . .
I was the longest-lasting Mafia member, except for maybe Brian; I think I tied with him. The strong, silent types, lol . . .
"Just because you pick your foot up off of a squished bug doesn't mean it un-squishes." -Me, lol . . . after Robert and Alice leaned back on top of me and squished me and then told me that I should be fine after they get back off of me, lol . . .
It's so retarded; I feel so happy getting little reviews for my like three stories on Fanfiction.net (which, unlike a disturbing majority, are not slash, sexual, or even relationship-themed, lol). It's silly, really, but I like being told how well I'm doing.
I think that's why I sucked today. I was hoping so badly to be able to play well, and show my violin teacher that I could do it, that I really was worth First Division even though she didn't think I was. I've always wanted to be able to prove people wrong.
I've never been able to do it.
I can't show up boys to flirt with them (unless I'm SERIOUSLY good at something, and then even God requires that I be modest about it, otherwise it doesn't work), I can't prove teachers wrong, I can't prove obnoxious people wrong. I require to thrive off of the energy of others' support and approval. I can do things, and do things well, when people tell me they are confidant in me. I do it because I love to please people. I care about it too much. It's an oldest/first child thing. I just need to please people; I want everyone to like me, to approve of me. It makes me a great compromiser, too concerned with my reputation to become truly passionate and let my ideas out there.
I mean, look at me: I apologize for every rant I ever make, sidestepping around my insane liberal-ness for fear of offending my Republican friends; I try to compromise everything and see the value in everything even when I know it's wrong and I completely and totally hate it-- which then makes me appear and weak and makes everyone think that they've won-- and I even excuse everything so that no one appears evil.
Is it philosophy or is it bending to fulfill everyone?
I guess I've turned it into a philosophy. It's not a bad one, so much.
After all, I did see all 15 rocks at Ryouanji; therefore, I received enlightment, and they told me that the key to enlightment was compromise.
Just don't compare me to Henry Clay. He was "The Great Compromiser," but, oh my God, I disagreed with everything he ever said. He was in Congress for about 150 years, too (yeah, he and Eugene V. Debs and William Jennings Bryan-- only they never actually did anything . . . )-- AND THAT'S AN AWFULLY LONG TIME TO BE COMING UP WITH IDEAS THAT I UTTERLY HATE, lol . . .
AS fitting with my compromisingish nature, I love everyone, all of you all, and I bid you all good night . . .
Good night. I love you all ^_^
I wrote my entry from earlier today and pretty much went to sleep. I woke up with just enough time to make it to Sarah's party.
Well, would have, if I hadn't gotten completely, utterly, and totally lost, lol . . . I had to drive back home, and call her, and show up about a half-hour late, lol . . .
Sarah's party was fun. It was a nice party; we ate lots of food and played Spoons and sat around and played Mafia for a long time, and we even played with Legos for a little while, lol . . .
I was the longest-lasting Mafia member, except for maybe Brian; I think I tied with him. The strong, silent types, lol . . .
"Just because you pick your foot up off of a squished bug doesn't mean it un-squishes." -Me, lol . . . after Robert and Alice leaned back on top of me and squished me and then told me that I should be fine after they get back off of me, lol . . .
It's so retarded; I feel so happy getting little reviews for my like three stories on Fanfiction.net (which, unlike a disturbing majority, are not slash, sexual, or even relationship-themed, lol). It's silly, really, but I like being told how well I'm doing.
I think that's why I sucked today. I was hoping so badly to be able to play well, and show my violin teacher that I could do it, that I really was worth First Division even though she didn't think I was. I've always wanted to be able to prove people wrong.
I've never been able to do it.
I can't show up boys to flirt with them (unless I'm SERIOUSLY good at something, and then even God requires that I be modest about it, otherwise it doesn't work), I can't prove teachers wrong, I can't prove obnoxious people wrong. I require to thrive off of the energy of others' support and approval. I can do things, and do things well, when people tell me they are confidant in me. I do it because I love to please people. I care about it too much. It's an oldest/first child thing. I just need to please people; I want everyone to like me, to approve of me. It makes me a great compromiser, too concerned with my reputation to become truly passionate and let my ideas out there.
I mean, look at me: I apologize for every rant I ever make, sidestepping around my insane liberal-ness for fear of offending my Republican friends; I try to compromise everything and see the value in everything even when I know it's wrong and I completely and totally hate it-- which then makes me appear and weak and makes everyone think that they've won-- and I even excuse everything so that no one appears evil.
Is it philosophy or is it bending to fulfill everyone?
I guess I've turned it into a philosophy. It's not a bad one, so much.
After all, I did see all 15 rocks at Ryouanji; therefore, I received enlightment, and they told me that the key to enlightment was compromise.
Just don't compare me to Henry Clay. He was "The Great Compromiser," but, oh my God, I disagreed with everything he ever said. He was in Congress for about 150 years, too (yeah, he and Eugene V. Debs and William Jennings Bryan-- only they never actually did anything . . . )-- AND THAT'S AN AWFULLY LONG TIME TO BE COMING UP WITH IDEAS THAT I UTTERLY HATE, lol . . .
AS fitting with my compromisingish nature, I love everyone, all of you all, and I bid you all good night . . .
Good night. I love you all ^_^
