Writer's Block: Take my advice
Oct. 19th, 2009 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tabular_rasa[Error: unknown template qotd]
I'm actually pretty bad about taking advice, good or bad. I usually have to figure things out myself, for better or worse. When I'm in a healthy state of mind, my intuition is usually pretty good, but I've gotten into some funks where I've made bad choice after bad choice, almost as if I'm trying to self-destruct.
That said, the best advice I've gotten (and taken) probably came from my mom during my preteen years, when I often had issues with making and keeping friends. Things like staying true to myself, not doing things I don't want to do just because other kids are doing them, and remembering that whatever situation I am in is not the be-all end-all of everything and there will always be the possibility of change: all I have to do is put up with the crap while it's here and someday it will be over and new and better things will come along. This never seemed counterintuitive; it seemed like common sense. Plus I think naturally I've always been stronger than most at being able to be myself in spite of others' criticisms, to just sort of tune out and do my own thing, so it wasn't hard. I mean-- okay, yes, it was hard in that in taking this advice I was often unpopular, but it wasn't hard to believe in. (And it certainly made what was probably an inevitable unpopularity and awkwardness a little more tolerable; at least I could believe it was impermanent).
It's hard to say what's the worst advice I've ever been given, because I'm sure I promptly wrote it off and forgot about it. I think advice suggesting caution generally goes over poorly with me, because I am already too cautious by nature and encouraging me to be more so basically puts me at a standstill. People usually suggest caution when they want someone to stop and think about a process, but since I already way overdo that, my process stops altogether. As a chronic perfectionist, it's taken me a while to learn to take risks-- but since I have, I've found I actually have few regrets, even when they've come to failures. It would have been nice to have learned to do that earlier!
I'm actually pretty bad about taking advice, good or bad. I usually have to figure things out myself, for better or worse. When I'm in a healthy state of mind, my intuition is usually pretty good, but I've gotten into some funks where I've made bad choice after bad choice, almost as if I'm trying to self-destruct.
That said, the best advice I've gotten (and taken) probably came from my mom during my preteen years, when I often had issues with making and keeping friends. Things like staying true to myself, not doing things I don't want to do just because other kids are doing them, and remembering that whatever situation I am in is not the be-all end-all of everything and there will always be the possibility of change: all I have to do is put up with the crap while it's here and someday it will be over and new and better things will come along. This never seemed counterintuitive; it seemed like common sense. Plus I think naturally I've always been stronger than most at being able to be myself in spite of others' criticisms, to just sort of tune out and do my own thing, so it wasn't hard. I mean-- okay, yes, it was hard in that in taking this advice I was often unpopular, but it wasn't hard to believe in. (And it certainly made what was probably an inevitable unpopularity and awkwardness a little more tolerable; at least I could believe it was impermanent).
It's hard to say what's the worst advice I've ever been given, because I'm sure I promptly wrote it off and forgot about it. I think advice suggesting caution generally goes over poorly with me, because I am already too cautious by nature and encouraging me to be more so basically puts me at a standstill. People usually suggest caution when they want someone to stop and think about a process, but since I already way overdo that, my process stops altogether. As a chronic perfectionist, it's taken me a while to learn to take risks-- but since I have, I've found I actually have few regrets, even when they've come to failures. It would have been nice to have learned to do that earlier!
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Date: 2009-10-20 10:21 pm (UTC)Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel."
The man protested, "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
To which the Rabbi replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"