Surveyness

1. When you think about stuff, do you hear your voice in your head, like stating your thoughts?
Yes; I have a running narrative running through my head at all times. Apparently George Orwell used to have one, too; we read about this in Writing I, lol . . .

2. Do you understand yourself?
For the most part; I tend to think out myself in linear terms, and when I explain things to myself, justifying them or what have you, I tend to understand myself better.

3. Do you understand other people?
If they tell me what I need to know, I oftentimes understand them better than they do (ie: Tiffany, sometimes); if they don't tell me anything, then, well, no. I piece together the concrete information I know and I make inferences, and then it makes sense. If I have no concrete information, I cannot know.

4. Is it hard for you to just sit and be by yourself?
No. I sit and daydream and such, too, Julia, lol-- but I enjoy it! I do not like being alone, however, when I know others close to me are having fun without me.

5. Do you always have to have something to do? Even if it's only with your hands (It's not a sick thing, I mean do you always have to have something to occupy your hands and stuff like that)?
Not always. I like to be eating things, though. Keith and I just had a (very casual) conversation about this, lol . . . I have an oral fixation, and he has a . . . manual? . . . fixation . . .

6. What do you see beauty in?
Everything. For the longest time, I thought that's what they said in that Frou-Frou song-- "There's beauty in everything"-- but, no, I just found out today it's "For there's beauty in the breakdown." I think I liked my way better, lol . . . I mean it, though: Physical beings, emotions-- even suffering-- happenings, the way things tie together . . . the irony of life . . . etc, etc, etc . . . call it Nature, call it God's Divine Plan, call it an Existential Purpose, or just Thoughts Inside My Head, but, yeah, it's beautiful . . . ^_^

7. Are you interested in other people? In understanding them and why they do the things they do and say the things they say?
Oh yes. If I were any good at math and science, I might go into psychology :-P Instead, I shall analyze informally through the pages of novels, and serve as the Unsolicited Giver of Advice to all of you all, lol . . . ^_^

8. Do you ever just sit and wonder what everyone around you is thinking?
DEFINITELY. I did it just now, at Ursa's. I stop for a moment and analyze everyone-- or at least everyone in my general vicinity, and God knows that's enough-- and then my head feels as it is going to swell up and cave in with the depth of the thoughts I do not know within each individual: all the memories, all the philosophies, all the late-night musings we never tell that we practically forget ourselves, all the desires and dreams and wants and fears, the immaturies that rest beneath the surface that we would never admit to in our fronts-- a fronts that are guiltless for we all put them up to become socialized in society. Sometimes, I can read the surface thoughts, the priority thoughts, and sometimes a little bit more, but not much. It's staggering. Yeah, that sounds poetic-- but it's true.

9. Do you ever stare at people for no apparent reason?
I stare, but I have trouble making eye-contact. That seems so weird. It's as if I want to watch them, but no one ought to watch me. Only when I feel certain ways can I actually look at people-- like when I trust them, or something, and the situation is conductive.

10. How long would it take you to go up to a person you don't know, have just recently met, or is a friend of a friend, and start a conversation with them?
It depends. If I know we're both in the same boat, and the chances of me being rejected are slim, I would go up politely and friendly-ly (lol). If they're with any sort of group of people, though, no chance :-P

11. Have you ever had difficulty getting yourself to ask a stranger for the time or something like that?
OH YES. Ha ha, have you seen me go anywhere? I always ask anyone else to do the public relations :-P

12. Have you ever had difficulty getting yourself to ask a friend for the time or something like that?
Sometimes, but not usually. It depends on the context/situation, etc . . .

13. What color are your socks? I just needed a little break from all the serious questions there for a minute. So, what color are they?
White.

14. Do you ever do things just to annoy other people?
No, but I do things for attention.

15. Does it piss you off when other people do things just because they know they annoy you?
No. I like the attention, to tell you the truth. Though sometimes messing with my compulsions get a little old/STRESSFUL, people . . . :-P

16. Do you ever use humor, wit, sarcasm, etc. to deflect from serious situtations so as not to expose yourself?
Yes. It's the only way to make both parties comfortable, often.

17. Do you ever feel weird talking about yourself to others?
No. I do it all the time. I tell everybody everything, and then it's weird because then everyone knows more about me than I know about them. It's my own fault, though.

18. Do you have trouble answering if you look unhappy and someone asks you what's wrong?
No; I immediately go off on all my problems.

19. Do you ever feel unhappy and just not know why?
I usually know why. It's usually just a matter of whether the matter is private/sensitive or not.

20. Would you describe yourself as confused about life in general?
Only in the deep existential fashion-- but, even then, I think I cope pretty well ^_^

21. Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your skin?
Physically? Yes. Mentally? No. Emotionally? No. Personality-y? No. I'm stable except for my body, for the most part, lol . . .

22. Has there ever been anyone in your life that could piss you off just by looking at you (and not in a bad way, just, like, a normal look)?
No.

23. Is there anybody that you've never met (or atleast not spoken to), that for some reason you just don't like?
No. I have some people I suspect I won't like, but I wait to be proven before I resign myself to that feeling.

24. Are there any words you just plain hate, no particular kind of word, just any word, for no reason at all?
Yes; "macabre" when it's pronounced "mah-cab," and not "mah-cab-r"-- with just the little bit of the "r" at the end, lol . . .

25. Are there any words that you like for no reason?
Yes; cathartic, consummate, inherent . . . a lot more, lol . . .

26. How often do you get deja vu?
Perhaps once every couple of months or so.

27. has thinking ever depressed you?
On certain subjects, of course, yes!

28. Do you ever wonder any of these questions about others?
Yes; 1,2,3,6,7,8,9,14,15,16,17,18,19,21,22,24,25,26,27 . . . yeah, just about all, lol . . .

29. Do you want me to not tell anybody else your answers?
I could care less, seeing as how I am posting this in a public forum . . . :-P

30. Have you felt in anyway uncomfortable answering any of these questions?
No, not really. Like I said, I tell all ^_^

Surveyness

1. When you think about stuff, do you hear your voice in your head, like stating your thoughts?
Yes; I have a running narrative running through my head at all times. Apparently George Orwell used to have one, too; we read about this in Writing I, lol . . .

2. Do you understand yourself?
For the most part; I tend to think out myself in linear terms, and when I explain things to myself, justifying them or what have you, I tend to understand myself better.

3. Do you understand other people?
If they tell me what I need to know, I oftentimes understand them better than they do (ie: Tiffany, sometimes); if they don't tell me anything, then, well, no. I piece together the concrete information I know and I make inferences, and then it makes sense. If I have no concrete information, I cannot know.

4. Is it hard for you to just sit and be by yourself?
No. I sit and daydream and such, too, Julia, lol-- but I enjoy it! I do not like being alone, however, when I know others close to me are having fun without me.

5. Do you always have to have something to do? Even if it's only with your hands (It's not a sick thing, I mean do you always have to have something to occupy your hands and stuff like that)?
Not always. I like to be eating things, though. Keith and I just had a (very casual) conversation about this, lol . . . I have an oral fixation, and he has a . . . manual? . . . fixation . . .

6. What do you see beauty in?
Everything. For the longest time, I thought that's what they said in that Frou-Frou song-- "There's beauty in everything"-- but, no, I just found out today it's "For there's beauty in the breakdown." I think I liked my way better, lol . . . I mean it, though: Physical beings, emotions-- even suffering-- happenings, the way things tie together . . . the irony of life . . . etc, etc, etc . . . call it Nature, call it God's Divine Plan, call it an Existential Purpose, or just Thoughts Inside My Head, but, yeah, it's beautiful . . . ^_^

7. Are you interested in other people? In understanding them and why they do the things they do and say the things they say?
Oh yes. If I were any good at math and science, I might go into psychology :-P Instead, I shall analyze informally through the pages of novels, and serve as the Unsolicited Giver of Advice to all of you all, lol . . . ^_^

8. Do you ever just sit and wonder what everyone around you is thinking?
DEFINITELY. I did it just now, at Ursa's. I stop for a moment and analyze everyone-- or at least everyone in my general vicinity, and God knows that's enough-- and then my head feels as it is going to swell up and cave in with the depth of the thoughts I do not know within each individual: all the memories, all the philosophies, all the late-night musings we never tell that we practically forget ourselves, all the desires and dreams and wants and fears, the immaturies that rest beneath the surface that we would never admit to in our fronts-- a fronts that are guiltless for we all put them up to become socialized in society. Sometimes, I can read the surface thoughts, the priority thoughts, and sometimes a little bit more, but not much. It's staggering. Yeah, that sounds poetic-- but it's true.

9. Do you ever stare at people for no apparent reason?
I stare, but I have trouble making eye-contact. That seems so weird. It's as if I want to watch them, but no one ought to watch me. Only when I feel certain ways can I actually look at people-- like when I trust them, or something, and the situation is conductive.

10. How long would it take you to go up to a person you don't know, have just recently met, or is a friend of a friend, and start a conversation with them?
It depends. If I know we're both in the same boat, and the chances of me being rejected are slim, I would go up politely and friendly-ly (lol). If they're with any sort of group of people, though, no chance :-P

11. Have you ever had difficulty getting yourself to ask a stranger for the time or something like that?
OH YES. Ha ha, have you seen me go anywhere? I always ask anyone else to do the public relations :-P

12. Have you ever had difficulty getting yourself to ask a friend for the time or something like that?
Sometimes, but not usually. It depends on the context/situation, etc . . .

13. What color are your socks? I just needed a little break from all the serious questions there for a minute. So, what color are they?
White.

14. Do you ever do things just to annoy other people?
No, but I do things for attention.

15. Does it piss you off when other people do things just because they know they annoy you?
No. I like the attention, to tell you the truth. Though sometimes messing with my compulsions get a little old/STRESSFUL, people . . . :-P

16. Do you ever use humor, wit, sarcasm, etc. to deflect from serious situtations so as not to expose yourself?
Yes. It's the only way to make both parties comfortable, often.

17. Do you ever feel weird talking about yourself to others?
No. I do it all the time. I tell everybody everything, and then it's weird because then everyone knows more about me than I know about them. It's my own fault, though.

18. Do you have trouble answering if you look unhappy and someone asks you what's wrong?
No; I immediately go off on all my problems.

19. Do you ever feel unhappy and just not know why?
I usually know why. It's usually just a matter of whether the matter is private/sensitive or not.

20. Would you describe yourself as confused about life in general?
Only in the deep existential fashion-- but, even then, I think I cope pretty well ^_^

21. Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your skin?
Physically? Yes. Mentally? No. Emotionally? No. Personality-y? No. I'm stable except for my body, for the most part, lol . . .

22. Has there ever been anyone in your life that could piss you off just by looking at you (and not in a bad way, just, like, a normal look)?
No.

23. Is there anybody that you've never met (or atleast not spoken to), that for some reason you just don't like?
No. I have some people I suspect I won't like, but I wait to be proven before I resign myself to that feeling.

24. Are there any words you just plain hate, no particular kind of word, just any word, for no reason at all?
Yes; "macabre" when it's pronounced "mah-cab," and not "mah-cab-r"-- with just the little bit of the "r" at the end, lol . . .

25. Are there any words that you like for no reason?
Yes; cathartic, consummate, inherent . . . a lot more, lol . . .

26. How often do you get deja vu?
Perhaps once every couple of months or so.

27. has thinking ever depressed you?
On certain subjects, of course, yes!

28. Do you ever wonder any of these questions about others?
Yes; 1,2,3,6,7,8,9,14,15,16,17,18,19,21,22,24,25,26,27 . . . yeah, just about all, lol . . .

29. Do you want me to not tell anybody else your answers?
I could care less, seeing as how I am posting this in a public forum . . . :-P

30. Have you felt in anyway uncomfortable answering any of these questions?
No, not really. Like I said, I tell all ^_^

(no subject)

I had a weird dream last night that was very Giver/1984/Brave New World-esque. It involved people being locked into cells of two people only-- so that we wouldn't lose our human interact skills, or something-- so that we only know ourselves and the other person existed. Yet everyone else would cheat the system, climbing through the vents to other compartments and such. It was very interesting, actually; I slept until 11:15, which is a record for me.

Which brings me to a weird/interesting though: In school, I always tended to do uncharaceristically bad on projects that involved personifying abstract concepts into physical worlds, and dealing with real impossibilities/unfathomabilities. Examples: creating a utopia in 7th grade, and creating a Hell in 12th grade. Now, everyone knows a utopia cannot really exist; I knew this, and, hence, I couldn't up an idea for the life of me. I think I ended up taking an aspect of human need and working it in or something-- like my town was very, very structured, so much so that no one could possibly think otherwise to complain (which is scarily totalitarian and Orwelian!). However, it turned out we were supposed to be shallow (which is just really, really sad, considering we had just read The Giver, which is anything but shallow): Candytown, Sportsland-- places where certain items conductive to happiness (for some people, at least-- imagine me in Sportsland!) were in great abundance and perhaps even required. So, hence, I faired very poorly on that assignment; not only did the teacher hate my non-creative idea-- and accompanying lack of illustrations (how do you illustrate a schedule? I just made the schedules, honestly . . . )-- everyone in the class thought I was really stupid and/or really, really weird. Then, with the Hell project-- which is more clear in my mind, and everyone else who witnessed/participated (Liz ^_^)-- Liz and I were on the same page; we didn't really believe Hell was distinct separate circles, and, so, we couldn't just make rings that had a dance-theme and put people who suck at break-dancing in the second circle. I understand that's what the assignment was, a silly opportunity to be "creative," but, well, to become shallow on something so not shallow for the sake of an assignment just seems petty and sort of, well, compromising of morals or something. Sure-- it's not like every kid who didn't believe in Hell or pictured it differently in our class did that, and maybe it's just a sign of my existential insecurity that I couldn't, but, well-- I didn't want to do that. Plus, in this case, Liz and I thought very hard about this. We thought so hard that it compromised the "prettiness" of our Hell, and apparently a good front to mask shallowness is all it takes in this world; it's worth more than thought.

That's a pretty good line, actually.

Anyway, I think I take life pretty damn seriously when it comes to things like that-- at least when I want to. There are times when I just don't feel like being irreverant and shallow, even if it doesn't "really" matter. So then I come off like this uber-serious bitch who can't take a joke (which is really quite funny, if you think about it-- but, then again, I can be quite fickle about what I think is funny one minute as compared to the rest) and is all self-righteous about my own depth to the interpretation of the assignment, or something.

Here's betting I get several comments from other people in the English class that did well about how I should get over this.

. . . and here's betting now that they read that they won't say anything.

(no subject)

I had a weird dream last night that was very Giver/1984/Brave New World-esque. It involved people being locked into cells of two people only-- so that we wouldn't lose our human interact skills, or something-- so that we only know ourselves and the other person existed. Yet everyone else would cheat the system, climbing through the vents to other compartments and such. It was very interesting, actually; I slept until 11:15, which is a record for me.

Which brings me to a weird/interesting though: In school, I always tended to do uncharaceristically bad on projects that involved personifying abstract concepts into physical worlds, and dealing with real impossibilities/unfathomabilities. Examples: creating a utopia in 7th grade, and creating a Hell in 12th grade. Now, everyone knows a utopia cannot really exist; I knew this, and, hence, I couldn't up an idea for the life of me. I think I ended up taking an aspect of human need and working it in or something-- like my town was very, very structured, so much so that no one could possibly think otherwise to complain (which is scarily totalitarian and Orwelian!). However, it turned out we were supposed to be shallow (which is just really, really sad, considering we had just read The Giver, which is anything but shallow): Candytown, Sportsland-- places where certain items conductive to happiness (for some people, at least-- imagine me in Sportsland!) were in great abundance and perhaps even required. So, hence, I faired very poorly on that assignment; not only did the teacher hate my non-creative idea-- and accompanying lack of illustrations (how do you illustrate a schedule? I just made the schedules, honestly . . . )-- everyone in the class thought I was really stupid and/or really, really weird. Then, with the Hell project-- which is more clear in my mind, and everyone else who witnessed/participated (Liz ^_^)-- Liz and I were on the same page; we didn't really believe Hell was distinct separate circles, and, so, we couldn't just make rings that had a dance-theme and put people who suck at break-dancing in the second circle. I understand that's what the assignment was, a silly opportunity to be "creative," but, well, to become shallow on something so not shallow for the sake of an assignment just seems petty and sort of, well, compromising of morals or something. Sure-- it's not like every kid who didn't believe in Hell or pictured it differently in our class did that, and maybe it's just a sign of my existential insecurity that I couldn't, but, well-- I didn't want to do that. Plus, in this case, Liz and I thought very hard about this. We thought so hard that it compromised the "prettiness" of our Hell, and apparently a good front to mask shallowness is all it takes in this world; it's worth more than thought.

That's a pretty good line, actually.

Anyway, I think I take life pretty damn seriously when it comes to things like that-- at least when I want to. There are times when I just don't feel like being irreverant and shallow, even if it doesn't "really" matter. So then I come off like this uber-serious bitch who can't take a joke (which is really quite funny, if you think about it-- but, then again, I can be quite fickle about what I think is funny one minute as compared to the rest) and is all self-righteous about my own depth to the interpretation of the assignment, or something.

Here's betting I get several comments from other people in the English class that did well about how I should get over this.

. . . and here's betting now that they read that they won't say anything.

Music Yoink-age and On My Own-ness

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Beautiful day of music-getting!

Not only did I yoink a lot of great music from Keith's "Rap/Trance" CD (all of Dragostea Din Tei, Castles in the Sky, SANDSTORM, etc, etc ^_^!!!), I also got two Japanese songs from Les Miserables.

You know what is awesome? I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THEM. It's not such crazy-advanced Japanese that I can't understand. I do understand!

IN FACT: I once translated "On My Own" myself, to Japanese-- while bored in Japanese class, lol :-P

. . . and, parts, are word for word what I translated! O.o

This is fun:

( On My Own: English )

( On My Own: Japanese )

Music Yoink-age and On My Own-ness

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Beautiful day of music-getting!

Not only did I yoink a lot of great music from Keith's "Rap/Trance" CD (all of Dragostea Din Tei, Castles in the Sky, SANDSTORM, etc, etc ^_^!!!), I also got two Japanese songs from Les Miserables.

You know what is awesome? I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THEM. It's not such crazy-advanced Japanese that I can't understand. I do understand!

IN FACT: I once translated "On My Own" myself, to Japanese-- while bored in Japanese class, lol :-P

. . . and, parts, are word for word what I translated! O.o

This is fun:

( On My Own: English )

( On My Own: Japanese )