Cooking and Craziness

[tabular_rasa]

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, EVERYONE!!!

Woo, I get a kick out of myself today . . .

Today is one of those days I don't feel like wearing pants, so I'm traipsing about in the ginormous poodle skirt Tiffany gave me a long while back (because she didn't have room for it in her closet anymore, moving away and all) and my "I (Sumo Wrestler Picture Here) Tokyo" shirt, which is green, but sure as hell not very Irish, lol . . . I also have a green-and-blue plaid hair ribbon in my hair, because I cannot find the St. Patrick's Day shoelaces I usually wear in my hair, with shamrocks on them; I suspect I took them with me to St. Louis and forgot that they were there and that St. Patrick's Day would be spent here. Grr . . . I bet they would have come up with some good things at Center Court, too, lol . . .

So, I am cooking myself (and Tory and Neil) a St. Patrick's Day dinner. Mom and Dad are away off in Indianapolis or something for some seminar/secretaryship of Dad's, and I am at home watching the children for a day and a half. Now, being relatively Irish, we can't celebrate without corned beef and cabbage. So I am having a definite adventure cooking it.

I think cooking meat scares me on a level-- particularly when it's a giant slab of greasy meat, coated entirely in fat on one side. It came out of shrink-wrapped plastic, for God's sake-- LEAKY shrink-wrapped plastic-- and I got it all over the instructions from Mom and Dad about where they were staying/whatnot, because I was checking the instructions on how to cook the thing and I set the thing down on top of that for a moment (so, then, to remedy the situation, and to keep us all from getting sick, I sprayed down the instructions in Lysol, so they're clean, even though they're still pretty stained, lol . . . ). So I had to cut this thing out of the shrink wrap, and hold it under the sink while I rinsed it off, and hack it into two pieces, and it still doesn't fit in the pot . . .

So I came to the conclusion that me cooking is about the funniest thing ever-- even when I do succeed at it (and I'm really not that bad, actually, lol . . . I only carbonized the rice once!). Cooking is just a funny process, anyway. I mean-- you take a hunk of cow innards and dip them in water and then throw them in a pot full of hot water and . . . let it sit there (ahh, the chicken cooking in a pot, lol . . . ) . . . and stuff neverminding you feel sort of like a murderer trying to dispose of a body in a weird, disturbing, crazy way.

I think I was supposed to be a vegetarian but I was raised to eat meat, so I just do. It tastes too good for me to stop, lol . . .

Edit (2:47 pm): I just had to go and "remove the grey foam with a spoon." Gross. Well, not really; I think it's funny, but I have a very strong stomach (*people who have heard me talk about my appendix-bursting episode at the dinner table-- several times-- all groan*). It reminds me of making spatzle. Now I want to make spatzle, but that's German, and so that wouldn't make any freaking sense.

Edit (2:49 pm): Wait a second . . . it's a Friday. By the Lentan calendar, this is supposed to be a non-meat day . . . but it's ST. PATRICK'S DAY! You can't . . . not eat corned beef and cabbage . . . on St. Patrick's Day. You eat that to celebrate being Irish, but being Irish is practically synonymous with being Catholic, so . . . O.o This who concept is practically a walking contradiction . . . maybe I should go just go eat potatoes instead . . . that's Irish . . . ?

Nah . . . I had too much fun cooking that meat . . . and I like it too much . . . I guess I'm just not being inadvertantly Catholic anymore (I kept accidently not eating meat, for the last two Fridays, not just one, lol . . . ).

Well, that's alright, I supposed, since I'm Manichaean, anyways . . .

Edit (2:59 pm): AHHHHH!!! I just noticed I got some of that "grey foam" on my poodle skirt! Ahh!!! Gross!

Hmm . . . now I smell like corned beef and cabbage . . . yum . . . ^_^

Comments

[palatier.livejournal.com]

I too am having food problems...or at least I'm GONNA as soon as it's time to make dinner. I'm makin' chicken terriyaki but the problem is that I've only SEEN Jay make it once for Jenny so I'm doing it completely by memory.

And when you take into consideration how absent-mided I am that basically means I'm winging it.

*sweatdrop*

Aw well. I'll just look up some stuff on the internet and then it will be FANTASTIC!!!!!

Oh, I hope that the grey foam stuff comes out of your skirt!