More Parodies

[tabular_rasa]

Tory kept bribing me to sleep so she could use the computer. She always was annoyed whenever I rolled over and looked at her. She twisted my back around and it was painful.

I just wrote another parody.



TO THE TUNE OF "RESPECT" BY ARETHA FRANKLIN

MRS. BLACK: What I want
– if you don’t got it–
What you need
– you know I got it–
So now I’m yellin’
For a little pure blood in my home!

CHORUS OF OTHER PORTRAITS ALONG THE WALL: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Hey, halfbreeds!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: In MY home!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Mudblood!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: You are gonna desecrate everything that I hold great.
You are gonna desecrate . . .

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: . . . everything great.

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: So now I’m yellin’

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: For a little pure blood in my home!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Mutants!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: In MY home!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Filth!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: I never said you could take over my place,
But now that you’re here, there’s one thing to face:
This issue of the pure blood,
In MY home!

CHORUS: Just a, just a, just a, just a . . .

MRS. BLACK: Creatures of filth!

CHORUS: Just a, just a, just a, just a . . .

MRS. BLACK: In MY home!

CHORUS: Just a, just a, just a, just a . . .

MRS. BLACK: Scum!

Sirius rushes in with the noise to attempt to silence her. She sees him and her eyes bulge and she pales. She begins to sing to him accusingly.

MRS. BLACK: Ooh, my firstborn!

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: Back from Azkaban!

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: And, no less,

CHORUS: Ooh . . .

MRS. BLACK: Part of this rotten plan!
So now I’m yellin’ oh so loud
For some pure blood in my home!

CHORUS: Pure, pure, pure, pure . . .

MRS. BLACK: You bloodtraitor!

CHORUS: Pure, pure, pure, pure . . .

MRS. BLACK: I disowned you!

CHORUS: Purity!
Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Get out of my home, now!

CHORUS: Purity!
Just a little bit.

Sirius and Remus rush to cover the portrait with the curtains. Craning her neck to peek out, she continues to sing loudly.

MRS. BLACK: P-U-R, I-T-Y,
What it takes to get inside.
P-U-R, I-T-Y!
It’s my house; that is why!

Oh . . .

CHORUS: Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me . . .

MRS. BLACK: A little pure blood.

CHORUS: Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me . . .

MRS. BLACK: Shame of my flesh!

CHORUS: Just a little bit . . .

MRS. BLACK: A little pure blood!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Abominations!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Degenerations!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: I’m running out of patience!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Dirt and vileness!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.
Pure, pure, pure, pure . . .

MRS. BLACK: In MY home!

CHORUS: Pure, pure, pure, pure . . .

MRS. BLACK: . . . ity!
Or you might find my elf . . .

CHORUS: Purity!
Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: Will blow your secret!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: I got to have!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.

MRS. BLACK: A little pure blood in my home!

CHORUS: Just a little bit.



Black Velvet has been stuck in my head all day. I kind of have another parody for that.