History is Fun

[tabular_rasa]

I found this in my AP World History book that I got to take home with me to study before the AP World History Exam, which I might be taking this year. This rather scares me.

The setting is on the day Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated by an Austrian Serb who was a member of an underground organization called the Black Hand--
the day WWI, in essence, started:

Emperor Wilhelm II to Tsar Nicholas II (7/28/14, 22:45): I have heard with the greatest anxiety of the impression which is caused by the action of Austria-Hungary against Servia. The inscrupulous agitation which has been going on for years in Servia has led to the revolting crime of which Archduke Franz Ferdinand (Who named that dude? "Oh, come and dance with me, Michael!"} has become a victim. The spirit which made the Servians murder their own King and his consort still dominates that country. Doubtless You will agree with me that both of us, You as well as I, and all other sovereigns You know, our brothers and sisters and all them . . . , have a common interest to insist that all of those who are responsible for this horrible murder shall suffer their deserved punishment . . .
Your most sincere and devoted friend and cousin aren't we all?, Wilhelm.

Tsar Nicholas II to Emperor Wilhelm II (7/29/14, 13:00): Learn to spell Serbia, moron. It's SERBIA. Not Servia, SERBIA. I don't call you BILLhelm, do I? I am glad that you are back in Germany and out of what could be mine. In this serious moment moment I ask You earnestly to help me. An ignominious war has been declared against a weak country and in Russia the indignation which I full share is tremendous. I fear that very soon I shall be unable to resist the pressure exercised upon me and that I shall be forced to take measures which will lead to war aka the troops are already moving. To prevent a calamity as a European war would be, I urge You in the name of our friendship and all in Your power to restrain Your ally from going too far so they'll have their trousers down when I get there.
Nicholas.

Emperor Wilhelm II to Tsar Nicholas II (7/29/14, 18:30): I have received Your telegram and I share your desire for the conservation of peace. However, I cannot-- as I told You in my first telegram (Why don't you READ it, dumbass?)-- consider the action of Austria-Hungary as an "ignominious war." Austria-Hungary knows from experience (yeah, I've whooped that Hapsburg pansy SO many times, and I'm not even a consummate COUNTRY . . . go Prussians, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday . . . ) that the promises of Servia as long as they are on paper are entirely unreliable . . . I believe that's a direct understanding which-- as I have already telegraphed You (Like I said, learn to READ!!!)-- my Government endeavors to aid with all possible effort. Naturally military measures by Russia, which might be construed as a menace by Austria-Hungary, would accelerate a calamity which both of us desire to avoid and would undermine my position as mediator which-- upon Your appeal and to my friendship and aid-- I willingly accepted so stop backing out on your word. Honestly, you did this when you were seven, too. Remember when you promised to pay me back if I loaned you that money? Well, where is it? Huh? Huh?
Wilhelm.

Emperor Wilhelm II to Tsar Nicholas II (7/30/14, 1:00): My Ambassador has instructions to direct the attention of Your Government to the dangers and serious GOING TO BE MY MOVE!!!). I have told You the same in my last telegram IF YOU WOULD READ IT!!!. Austria-Hungary has mobilized only against Servia, and only a part of her army. If Russia, as seems be the case, according to Your advice and that of Your Government, mobilizes against Austria-Hungary (You've got enough of a big-ass country; let me have some!), the part of the mediator with which you have entrusted me in such friendly manner pssh . . . and which I have accepted upon Your express desire, is threatened if not made impossible. The entire weight of decision now rests upon Your shoulders; You have to bear the responsibility for war or peace and if you pick war I'm sending in a sea of Commies to overthrow you, bastard .
Wilhelm

*Russia mobilizes her army; telegram notifying Wilhelm of this arrives 7/31/14*

Tsar Nicholas II: Ha ha, sucker! You fall for that one every time!

. . . and so begins an era of Russia doing an awful lot of what it doesn't exactly let on it's going to do . . .



I really do suggest reading that; it was fun to make, albeit a bit stupid. Hey, it still cracks me up . . . just the whole premise of WWI . . . anyway . . .

Today was fine, I guess. I did badly on the Economics quiz, but no surprise there.

In Computer Applications, Jessica's random sound clips CD came in handy . . . I have a cut of Sirius saying "Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog," etc . . . in the background as I talk about the animal test-- and how it reminds me of Animagi from Harry Potter ^_^

Anyway, that was fun . . .

Kristina is right about it seeming like every day is just one long continuous play practice . . .

We have more tomorrow morning at 9 am . . . and they're pissed that I'm going to be gone on Monday. Hey, nobody told me that it was required until about two days ago. It says "Tech Rehearsal" on the schedule . . . and I'm not "Tech."

They liked Brock and my handkerchief business we made up, except we were talking during it to get it figured out, so that just sort of cancelled it out.

It's fun to fight with Nichole on stage, too; I hope we have a big fuss like that in the show, too . . . she knocked me out ^_^

I have to write a whole Economics report on Saturday. I could have perhaps done some tonight but I'm too tired, and, as a rule, I don't usually do homework on the first night of a weekend. It's my reward, or something, lol . . . ^_^