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tabular_rasaI love you so much that I would never eat you.
Model UN was awesome!
So I come in as the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic (Ukraine). It is 1948; the crisis is the Berlin Airlift. From my school is Erik Ponce, representing the Republic of Colombia (Colombia). Other present members are Argentina, Belgium, China, Federal Republic of Germany (FRG or West Germany), France, German Democratic Republic (GDR or East Germany), Syrian Arab Republica, the USA, and the USSR. Canada was supposed to be there-- but was not present.
Unfortunately, the USSR, to whom I take orders from, as Stalin can easily crush me, is absent for the first hour. I defend Communism; the Ukraine is a consummate, autonomous nation and simply is supporting its Communist brethren in the USSR. Then the USSR shows up, along with Syria. The Syria girl was very nice; I talked to her a bit, and the USSR guy CRACKED ME UP. He was rather small and skinny, and he had the CRAZIEST facial expressions. Every time someone went on about "the Communist lies as perpetuated by Stalin," he took on this gasping expression and looked around at all of us like, "Do you guys actually BELIEVE this???" It was awesome. He gave me lots of high-fives, lol.
I compared the Soviet/Communist bloc to Dr. Evil, Number 2, and Frau at one point. I had to be Frau. Only there was no sex scene and no Scott, lol . . . but there was random villainous laughter in the corner.
So we argue for the first 3 of the 3-hour sessions . . . just argue. The USSR and the Commies (lol, I should start a band) want currency reform (they want the unstable Ostemark to stay in existence because the new Deutschmark the Western powers want is a sign of capitalistic imperialism); the USSR changes its story between a purposeful blockade for the purpose of achievin this-- and a helpless story of the inability to deliver food due to ruined road conditions. Lol, I love inconsistencies. We listen to a presentation on Europe after the war and how screwed it was (ahh, emotions running high . . . ), and several videos made by the co-Chair assistant guy, one involving Batman and the Joker shrinking the Warsaw conference or something, and another (actually, several others), of GI Joes acting out stuff.
Then, FINALLY, we get something put together. The USSR and the USA actually COMPROMISED!!! We were all ready to vote for it . . . but then a crisis moved it. Actually, about seven of them did . . .
I had been watching the newspapers (we got period news briefings every "day," which was every three-hour session), and Tito (leader of Yugoslavia, Communist but of a new order than Stalin and in disagreement with him, and subject of Stalin's quote, "I will shake my little finger and there will be no more Tito) has gone missing. Also, there is a strike in London being broken up by troops ("THE RIGHTS OF THE COMMON WORKING MAN!!!" we Communist nations cry). Then, a pilot part of the US's unilateral relief mission to airlift food to West Berlin (henceforth known as GI Jack) crash lands in East Berlin and is taken hostage.
Still, we overlooked this. London was taking care of it, and GI Jack was determined to be a spy, not an airlifter; he had no food but only camera equipment. He was going to take pictures. So the USA apologized and we moved on.
I get a message from my home governmemt (aka the Chair posing as my home government) informing me that this whole Tito-has-gone-missing deal is actually part of a huge plan of Stalin's to intimidate him (or, um, make him disappear). So Stalin's "little finger" appears to be an army of 50,000+ troops plus 5,000 tanks-- positioned all at the border of my country, Ukraine, ready to stomp in and then blockade Yugoslavia.
Now, my country is divided. The Ukraine has always been Ukraine. We're a country. We like being one. We're just stuck under Stalin's thumb. We've always liked that Tito's had the power to be an individual, man, and assert autonomy. So I send a note, pretty sure something is going to come of this (because I don't want to bring this up yet, especially since the USSR and the USA are doing SO WELL at compromising at this point), to the US, asking them if their Truman Doctrine, where they promise to help assist nations overthrowing dictatorial governments, applies to Communist nations overthrowing other Communist nations that are puppet state-ing them. They said there was no Truman Doctrine.
WTF??? That was '46!!! It is now 1948! Now, I realize that not many of us (myself included) that the UN Commission of Human Rights and the Marshall Plan were not established until later that year (aka December and August and stuff, while this was still late June), but that was because books just said, "1948."
So, I was like, "Fine. Whatever. Whatever your country says. BUT ANYWAY, would you help?" They said it would depend.
So that was my safety valve.
It was a good thing, too. The next day, I get a very urgent note. "Delegate! Hero! Comrade!" they address me. The troops have invaded our country, taken over our administration, and cut all the communication lines. This will be the last briefing I will receive from them. They want me to fight on for Ukraine's autonomy. Their message was cut off ("JY^*^LJOIUSFCV-- communication lines garbled--comminique end"), lol . . . that was my proof that something was going on there when the USSR said that I was spreading noxious lies and did not represent my Ukrainian people (when, lol, I actually WAS, for the first time all delegation!).
So I get up, and give a very stirring speech on how the East must be reunited before any hope can ever be made of the East and West being united and reconciled. I was the only one to use the podium for the whole entire thing-- besides the Chairs and a few guest speakers.
So I asked to invite Yugoslavia in to be an observer nation, and an assitant chair obliged, posing as "Viktor Viktoromich" (I so think it should have been Viktor Krum, lol), and gave us information. I insisted that we pay attention to this. We also invited in a Swiss colonel (Colonel Gustav Beckman, lol), who was supposed to be unbiased to tell us what was going on, but he had just flown in from Anarctica, apparently, and said that Stalin was going to take over the world. So that didn't help.
Apparently China was being screwed over by Communist factions uprising, so they were pissed and wanted attention, too (they weren't Communists yet). West Germany kept complaining about how the airlift had not been lifted and were starving. I wanted to ensure that the USSR wasn't trying to suck me in, and asserting my autonomy but only the point of not angered the USSR so that they would kill me-- though they did call me a backstabber, shut me out of our evil-laugh corner, and and called Tito a "pig-dog." The USSR also received a threatening briefing from the home government at the Kremlint that his life was in danger if he did not do as the Soviet government asked (I wish I could have seen that note, lol ^_^). China was showing everyone anachronistic pictures of the Berlin airlift. Colombia was trying to invent Soviet peacekeepers about 8 years too early and banged his shoe on the table instead of me, or the USSR (and about ten or twenty years too early, too, lol . . . ). The UK was offering everyone "joints" of rolled-up papers from his yellow legal pads Syria was trying to get everyone to shut up and get to the point.
Ahh, international drama. It's so much better than anything a middle schooler could come up with in a note written in gel pen.
Still, we treaded onward. A Soviet was arrested for speeding in the Western sector of Berlin, and the USA apologized, and the USSR asserted that he was probably drunk anyways. The French delegate read to us from a mystery novel for a while. The UK talked about GI Jack using only James Bond movies ("GI Jack is being held hostage by that terrible man with his Goldeneye. We must rescue him so that he may Die Another Day," etc, etc, lol . . . ). So we made up a resolution that said the Soviets would only get their currency reform (which was modified somewhat, so that both parties agreed to it) if they lifted the blockade AND returned GI Jack with an official pardon. It passed.
So the next day, GI Jack is dead, returned in a body bag, poisoned. It was not specified in the resolution, after all, that he had to be alive.
So we watch a movie comemorating him. It was no longer the plastic doll, lol (though, I have to admit, the torture scene with the plastic dolls was pretty awesome, lol ^_^); it was real, live action, based on some real guy. Apparently he was one of those chocolate bombers. He may have been a spy, but he was also a good guy.
I asked if he had calculated out all the children in Berlin and allotted candy according. They said that no, that was ridiculous. I responded that "This is obviously capitalistic propaganda aimed at corrupted young childrens' minds with the elitist theory that some children deserve chocolate and others do not!" (I for one, lol, know that, had I been in Berlin, I would have gotten no chocolate and it would have made me cry and convert to Communism, lol . . . I think of this every time I see one of those pictures; I'm so serious). That was probably the highlight of my speeches there, lol . . .
So the pardon was not accepted; a "pardon" was not a murder of a man, particularly a candy-man humanitarian. The USSR asserted in the many following ways:
1) He was a spy-- the USA had admitted that he was-- and deserved it.
2) He had committed suicide with a nonstandard-issue poison.
3) After torture, the doctors had been so sorry that they had accidentally given him too much painkiller.
4) He had squealed like a canary, and the Americans had killed him.
5)He had seen the light and converted to Communism (does pne do that-- see the light-- politically?), and the Americans had killed him. He had become a citizen and even received the Order of Lenin
The UK said that James Bond had done it on UK orders.
In the end, we were undetermined as to whether the Soviets had lifted the blockade; apparently the GI Jack story was finally accepted by the USA for the sake of diplomacy, but we were still unclear about anything and everything else. China was going Communist, the Ukraine was going to be eaten by the USSR, and the UK was still crazy and had bad teeth. History repeats itself, no matter what. I thought it was going well. I thought there was not even going to be an airlift. Lol . . .
Anyway, AWESOME time that was. I love the exhiliration of debate.
On other notes, Vidhi straightened my hair and everyone thought it looked good, and Andrew waxed his chest-- really randomly. They filmed it and everything. Lol . . . it was so odd, but, hey, Andrew seemed to really want to do it . . .
I sang my Harry Potter song parodies for Kristina and Katie Ellis in my room one night while Nichole was in the shower. Then I sang part of one for Nichole, and also the Cameling song ("Oh! I love to bounce upon my camel!") . . .
We also came up with random stuff.
"Deer are tho thilly . . . "
"Are you a ghost who got shot and is now bleeding blue blood?"
"No, I'm a bureaucracy."
Speaking of which, I actually have to write that for that Debate meet on Saturday . . . ouch . . . I'm still stuck in Ukraine mode. I need to get back in Church vs. State mode. I can't be Commie in this-- only anti-Commie, lol . . . Maybe I should scroll back a few entries and find that one entry.
There is probably much more to be written but I just don't have the brain power to do anything more. I am SO TIRED. I got about five hours sleep per night. That's better than most people, who like stayed up to watch Dodgeball STARTING at like 1 am, but that . . . that's just impossible for me to do . . .
Good night all, and it's gladdening to be back, lol . . .
Model UN was awesome!
So I come in as the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic (Ukraine). It is 1948; the crisis is the Berlin Airlift. From my school is Erik Ponce, representing the Republic of Colombia (Colombia). Other present members are Argentina, Belgium, China, Federal Republic of Germany (FRG or West Germany), France, German Democratic Republic (GDR or East Germany), Syrian Arab Republica, the USA, and the USSR. Canada was supposed to be there-- but was not present.
Unfortunately, the USSR, to whom I take orders from, as Stalin can easily crush me, is absent for the first hour. I defend Communism; the Ukraine is a consummate, autonomous nation and simply is supporting its Communist brethren in the USSR. Then the USSR shows up, along with Syria. The Syria girl was very nice; I talked to her a bit, and the USSR guy CRACKED ME UP. He was rather small and skinny, and he had the CRAZIEST facial expressions. Every time someone went on about "the Communist lies as perpetuated by Stalin," he took on this gasping expression and looked around at all of us like, "Do you guys actually BELIEVE this???" It was awesome. He gave me lots of high-fives, lol.
I compared the Soviet/Communist bloc to Dr. Evil, Number 2, and Frau at one point. I had to be Frau. Only there was no sex scene and no Scott, lol . . . but there was random villainous laughter in the corner.
So we argue for the first 3 of the 3-hour sessions . . . just argue. The USSR and the Commies (lol, I should start a band) want currency reform (they want the unstable Ostemark to stay in existence because the new Deutschmark the Western powers want is a sign of capitalistic imperialism); the USSR changes its story between a purposeful blockade for the purpose of achievin this-- and a helpless story of the inability to deliver food due to ruined road conditions. Lol, I love inconsistencies. We listen to a presentation on Europe after the war and how screwed it was (ahh, emotions running high . . . ), and several videos made by the co-Chair assistant guy, one involving Batman and the Joker shrinking the Warsaw conference or something, and another (actually, several others), of GI Joes acting out stuff.
Then, FINALLY, we get something put together. The USSR and the USA actually COMPROMISED!!! We were all ready to vote for it . . . but then a crisis moved it. Actually, about seven of them did . . .
I had been watching the newspapers (we got period news briefings every "day," which was every three-hour session), and Tito (leader of Yugoslavia, Communist but of a new order than Stalin and in disagreement with him, and subject of Stalin's quote, "I will shake my little finger and there will be no more Tito) has gone missing. Also, there is a strike in London being broken up by troops ("THE RIGHTS OF THE COMMON WORKING MAN!!!" we Communist nations cry). Then, a pilot part of the US's unilateral relief mission to airlift food to West Berlin (henceforth known as GI Jack) crash lands in East Berlin and is taken hostage.
Still, we overlooked this. London was taking care of it, and GI Jack was determined to be a spy, not an airlifter; he had no food but only camera equipment. He was going to take pictures. So the USA apologized and we moved on.
I get a message from my home governmemt (aka the Chair posing as my home government) informing me that this whole Tito-has-gone-missing deal is actually part of a huge plan of Stalin's to intimidate him (or, um, make him disappear). So Stalin's "little finger" appears to be an army of 50,000+ troops plus 5,000 tanks-- positioned all at the border of my country, Ukraine, ready to stomp in and then blockade Yugoslavia.
Now, my country is divided. The Ukraine has always been Ukraine. We're a country. We like being one. We're just stuck under Stalin's thumb. We've always liked that Tito's had the power to be an individual, man, and assert autonomy. So I send a note, pretty sure something is going to come of this (because I don't want to bring this up yet, especially since the USSR and the USA are doing SO WELL at compromising at this point), to the US, asking them if their Truman Doctrine, where they promise to help assist nations overthrowing dictatorial governments, applies to Communist nations overthrowing other Communist nations that are puppet state-ing them. They said there was no Truman Doctrine.
WTF??? That was '46!!! It is now 1948! Now, I realize that not many of us (myself included) that the UN Commission of Human Rights and the Marshall Plan were not established until later that year (aka December and August and stuff, while this was still late June), but that was because books just said, "1948."
So, I was like, "Fine. Whatever. Whatever your country says. BUT ANYWAY, would you help?" They said it would depend.
So that was my safety valve.
It was a good thing, too. The next day, I get a very urgent note. "Delegate! Hero! Comrade!" they address me. The troops have invaded our country, taken over our administration, and cut all the communication lines. This will be the last briefing I will receive from them. They want me to fight on for Ukraine's autonomy. Their message was cut off ("JY^*^LJOIUSFCV-- communication lines garbled--comminique end"), lol . . . that was my proof that something was going on there when the USSR said that I was spreading noxious lies and did not represent my Ukrainian people (when, lol, I actually WAS, for the first time all delegation!).
So I get up, and give a very stirring speech on how the East must be reunited before any hope can ever be made of the East and West being united and reconciled. I was the only one to use the podium for the whole entire thing-- besides the Chairs and a few guest speakers.
So I asked to invite Yugoslavia in to be an observer nation, and an assitant chair obliged, posing as "Viktor Viktoromich" (I so think it should have been Viktor Krum, lol), and gave us information. I insisted that we pay attention to this. We also invited in a Swiss colonel (Colonel Gustav Beckman, lol), who was supposed to be unbiased to tell us what was going on, but he had just flown in from Anarctica, apparently, and said that Stalin was going to take over the world. So that didn't help.
Apparently China was being screwed over by Communist factions uprising, so they were pissed and wanted attention, too (they weren't Communists yet). West Germany kept complaining about how the airlift had not been lifted and were starving. I wanted to ensure that the USSR wasn't trying to suck me in, and asserting my autonomy but only the point of not angered the USSR so that they would kill me-- though they did call me a backstabber, shut me out of our evil-laugh corner, and and called Tito a "pig-dog." The USSR also received a threatening briefing from the home government at the Kremlint that his life was in danger if he did not do as the Soviet government asked (I wish I could have seen that note, lol ^_^). China was showing everyone anachronistic pictures of the Berlin airlift. Colombia was trying to invent Soviet peacekeepers about 8 years too early and banged his shoe on the table instead of me, or the USSR (and about ten or twenty years too early, too, lol . . . ). The UK was offering everyone "joints" of rolled-up papers from his yellow legal pads Syria was trying to get everyone to shut up and get to the point.
Ahh, international drama. It's so much better than anything a middle schooler could come up with in a note written in gel pen.
Still, we treaded onward. A Soviet was arrested for speeding in the Western sector of Berlin, and the USA apologized, and the USSR asserted that he was probably drunk anyways. The French delegate read to us from a mystery novel for a while. The UK talked about GI Jack using only James Bond movies ("GI Jack is being held hostage by that terrible man with his Goldeneye. We must rescue him so that he may Die Another Day," etc, etc, lol . . . ). So we made up a resolution that said the Soviets would only get their currency reform (which was modified somewhat, so that both parties agreed to it) if they lifted the blockade AND returned GI Jack with an official pardon. It passed.
So the next day, GI Jack is dead, returned in a body bag, poisoned. It was not specified in the resolution, after all, that he had to be alive.
So we watch a movie comemorating him. It was no longer the plastic doll, lol (though, I have to admit, the torture scene with the plastic dolls was pretty awesome, lol ^_^); it was real, live action, based on some real guy. Apparently he was one of those chocolate bombers. He may have been a spy, but he was also a good guy.
I asked if he had calculated out all the children in Berlin and allotted candy according. They said that no, that was ridiculous. I responded that "This is obviously capitalistic propaganda aimed at corrupted young childrens' minds with the elitist theory that some children deserve chocolate and others do not!" (I for one, lol, know that, had I been in Berlin, I would have gotten no chocolate and it would have made me cry and convert to Communism, lol . . . I think of this every time I see one of those pictures; I'm so serious). That was probably the highlight of my speeches there, lol . . .
So the pardon was not accepted; a "pardon" was not a murder of a man, particularly a candy-man humanitarian. The USSR asserted in the many following ways:
1) He was a spy-- the USA had admitted that he was-- and deserved it.
2) He had committed suicide with a nonstandard-issue poison.
3) After torture, the doctors had been so sorry that they had accidentally given him too much painkiller.
4) He had squealed like a canary, and the Americans had killed him.
5)He had seen the light and converted to Communism (does pne do that-- see the light-- politically?), and the Americans had killed him. He had become a citizen and even received the Order of Lenin
The UK said that James Bond had done it on UK orders.
In the end, we were undetermined as to whether the Soviets had lifted the blockade; apparently the GI Jack story was finally accepted by the USA for the sake of diplomacy, but we were still unclear about anything and everything else. China was going Communist, the Ukraine was going to be eaten by the USSR, and the UK was still crazy and had bad teeth. History repeats itself, no matter what. I thought it was going well. I thought there was not even going to be an airlift. Lol . . .
Anyway, AWESOME time that was. I love the exhiliration of debate.
On other notes, Vidhi straightened my hair and everyone thought it looked good, and Andrew waxed his chest-- really randomly. They filmed it and everything. Lol . . . it was so odd, but, hey, Andrew seemed to really want to do it . . .
I sang my Harry Potter song parodies for Kristina and Katie Ellis in my room one night while Nichole was in the shower. Then I sang part of one for Nichole, and also the Cameling song ("Oh! I love to bounce upon my camel!") . . .
We also came up with random stuff.
"Deer are tho thilly . . . "
"Are you a ghost who got shot and is now bleeding blue blood?"
"No, I'm a bureaucracy."
Speaking of which, I actually have to write that for that Debate meet on Saturday . . . ouch . . . I'm still stuck in Ukraine mode. I need to get back in Church vs. State mode. I can't be Commie in this-- only anti-Commie, lol . . . Maybe I should scroll back a few entries and find that one entry.
There is probably much more to be written but I just don't have the brain power to do anything more. I am SO TIRED. I got about five hours sleep per night. That's better than most people, who like stayed up to watch Dodgeball STARTING at like 1 am, but that . . . that's just impossible for me to do . . .
Good night all, and it's gladdening to be back, lol . . .
