Writer's Block: Rotten tomatoes

[tabular_rasa]

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Well, my answer's going to be skewed because the worst movies I've seen are probably a lot better than the worst movies that exist. I just don't see that many movies as it is, and I'm usually pretty good at screening out what's going to be a bad movie before I even bother to see it. I've never seen such notorious gold as Freddy Got Fingered or Howard the Duck, and why would I when I've heard they're so bad? And I tend not to put myself through the pain of watching a movie whose trailer already disgusts or bores me. So my pool is pretty small to begin with.

I know at least one person who likes each of these films, so I'm not saying they're crap on an objective standard-- I just really hated them. So take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

I've certainly changed channels on movies showing on TV, but usually because I didn't even see the beginning anyway or I was only curious to see part of it as it was. Usually if I explicitly sit down to watch a movie, I commit to watching all the way to the end for the sake of giving it a chance. However, while I've never walked out of a theater (but I see films in the theater so infrequently anyway), I did once turn off a DVD mid-film. Liz and I did a series of movie nights in late high school, trying to get caught up on good/well-known films since neither one of us had ever been very with-it in that regard. One night we watched Closer. I know a lot of people who like Closer-- and like it a lot-- and maybe I should give it another shot now that I'm older and perhaps can better relate to people's self-destructive impulses, but I just found myself disgusted with the selfishness of all the characters. I stopped liking them and I didn't care what happened to them. Liz felt the same way, and so about 2/3rds of the way in we turned it off and started another movie. I've been told that the ending makes all the difference and should redeem it for me, but out of curiosity I read the spoilers and I really don't see how that fixes anything. In fact, I thought it made it kind of dumber. But *shrug.* I'd be willing to watch it all the way through to give it another shot if anybody really wants me to (and shows up with the DVD so I don't have to rent it myself :-P).

The other films on my Worst list I did finish, but begrudgingly-- or at least out of a desperate hope that maybe there was something that made all that time and money worthwhile. I know Lisa is waiting for me to rant about The Lake House (which I have ranted about here before-- deus ex machina and breaches in timeline logic!), but I've seen enough romantic comedies to know that The Lake House is merely average in a category of mediocrity. I kind of feel like I have to give it a break because it is what it is. It'd be like holding it against a kid with a 60 IQ that they can't pass the standardized test for their age group. (Though, yes, I did just compare The Lake House to a retard :-P). I could just as easily put a few of the other romances and romantic comedies I've seen with messages I balk at or premises that make me pull strange faces while sucking air through my teeth.

Similarly, I feel like I can't hold it against The Bourne Supremacy that I hated it, either. I'm not much of an action-film person to begin with and I also lacked some context for the storyline, since I didn't see The Bourne Identity. Still, I thought that he was ultimately being really selfish. I know it's tempting to know why these people are after you, and you're pissed they needlessly went after your girlfriend, but regardless of whatever badass secret agent history you could turn out to have, your life is not worth the lives of the gazillions of innocent people getting mowed down all around you in all those fight and car-chase scenes. (Robert informs me he only kills two people, but I dunno-- I feel like there were an awful lot of deadly car crashes and shit going on. But maybe it was just to choppy for me to know what was going on. And Robert informs me there's an unspoken rule in action movies that if you don't see someone-- who isn't a "bad guy"-- die, they don't die, but I would like to cry "bullshit!" because I would like to know how anyone would survive some of the shit you see happening to innocent bystanders' cars, etc, on screen. I love you, baby, but this is one we're going to have to disagree on ;-P). I know what Bourne would answer on those "Would you give your life to save the lives of 10,000 others?" ethics questions. Jeez. But if you like revenge storylines, I can see how it'd be fun times.

And anyway, I've seen much worse since then. A VHS of Drop Dead Fred was left in my apartment, and back during my month without Internet it was one of the many I watched to occupy my time. This is supposedly a kids' movie, but there are swear words every ten seconds and quite a bit of implied sex. The protagonist is totally spineless, which is apparently the result of emotional abuse by both her mother and her husband-- and her imaginary friend emotionally abuses her just as badly as everyone else but apparently is justified because everyone else doesn't *really* love her and he does, or something. The scenarios in which Drop Dead Fred manipulates the girl (WHO WON'T JUST FREAKING IGNORE HIM) are embarrassing and hard-to-watch rather than amusing, and the ultimate message seems to be that straightlaced adulthood is borne of abusive parenting and we should all revert to a childhood of frankly destructive pranks that include destroying property and legitimately hurting people.

I am also horrified to discover that they are remaking this. I hope to dear God they can fix it.

There should be more to this list, I know there is, but I'm feeling sick-ish and irritable and getting irritated about old films isn't helping, lol. So I'm gonna go make some soup.

Comments

[hauntedtonight.livejournal.com]

Aw, the Bourne trilogy ranks in my top favorite movies! I'm not sure whether your opinion would change if you saw the first one but I sympathized with him. I'm pretty sure I heard the rule Robert mentioned before, but even when watching the movies I always think, Damn, a lot of people just died in those car crashes yet it doesn't turn me off from the character and wanting him to survive above all else. It's because I admire his ability to survive.

In Supremacy I think he goes after the secret agency because he knew they were coming after him and Marie again, not as revenge because they killed her. If she had survived they would have tried to find the agency anyway in order to stop being chased. And then when he really has a chance to kill members of Treadstone and Blackbriar (aka the characters with names) he consciously chooses not to. It's not to say that he doesn't put a ton of innocent people in danger to save himself, but in his situation it's kind of impossible not to at some point. I think he could have found other ways to escape without the excessive car crashes, though. Still I love these films. I like action movies, not all (some are all about death and big explosions and yeah that can be fun but I'd rather watch something that shows intelligence too), but many. I think the Bourne films are smart (and they were books first), there's a solid plot and character development, satisfying beginnings and endings, they actually shoot the films on location around the world, and I feel like I learn a lot about survival just by watching the fights and his escape methods.

But I like your look on it too. It will give me a new approach to my paper. I'm taking a class on action films here in Germany and have to write a 10 page term paper in German and the Bourne trilogy is my topic, haha.

[juushika.livejournal.com]

Closer is one of my favorite films—which regrettably I do not yet own, but the boy and I watch it when we visit my parents or borrow it again from Netflix. I love the selfishness of the characters, though. In part because it's realistic, in part because I find selfishness, amoralism, even intentionally hurtful behaviors quite intriguing, but also because the fact that they are so imperfect throws their vulnerability into stark contrast. It's a film about find love, despite being an imperfect being; about losing love, because you get caught up in that imperfection—usually, in someone else's.

I'd urge a rewatch if you think you'd change your mind, but it sounds like you come at it from a different angle, a different set of tastes and desires. Which is fine. ^_^ Taste is a personal thing. But while I see something new in Closer every time I watch it—its fundamental nature never does change. It may just not be the film for you.

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

Bourne Supremacy is one of the few action movies I've ever seen, and therefore, like The Lake House, I think it's really more a matter of me disliking certain tropes and rules of the genre than it being a legitimately bad movie. In fact, considering how many people love it, I'm sure it is very good as far as action movies go (and it actually addresses the topic of trying not to hurt people just to survive, in spite of the fact of him doing it anyway :-P)-- but I just apparently don't like action movies :-P

I tend to have (and had even more so when I watched the film) a more selfless, possibly even defeatist attitude that if you surviving means other people must die, you're kind of a selfless asshole to let them. (Utilitarianism and all). Especially once he loses his love anyway, all that he's got left is this mystery to work out. I'd be like "fuck it" and just let them kill me, save the lives of the rest of the people who might die in this huge hunt. Not a very interesting movie, certainly, but more ethically sound in my opinion :-P

I suppose it changes things now that I know *the rule* that those unshown deaths of innocents aren't actually deaths (which is, well, realistically impossible, but okay)-- but I didn't know the rule going in, lol.

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

I saw it when I was 17 years old, which I'm sure affected my initial view on it; I had not yet been in a relationship, let alone any sort of destructive one, and was really idealistic when it came to human behavior. I thought everyone was generally out for good, and it was only our differing motivations or definition of what "good" is that caused conflict. Destructive impulses driven by boredom, restlessness, nitpickiness, and selfishness didn't even make sense to me, let alone evoke any sort of empathy. I'm older and more world-wise now (lol), however, so I imagine the nuances of the characters might hit a better chord with me, especially if I know to watch the film as a character study rather than as anything with a redeeming message. However, I still have little patience or empathy for people (or characters) who don't even try to break out of their own selfish worldview, and as my own destructive impulses have always been turned inward I often have difficulty understanding, appreciating, or tolerating destruction turned outward. I think I'd give it a fair chance if I were to rewatch it, but it's very possible it's just not my kind of movie.

Which is fair. Movie preferences are as diverse and individual as musical taste, and I don't think any lower of anyone who likes films I don't like or doesn't like the films I do. Regardless of whether it redeems itself with me, Closer's considered a very good film by a lot of people and I'm not about to say they're all tasteless idiots! And I don't think I should be implied to have bad taste either simply because I don't agree with them. A wide array of movie genres continues to exist simply because we all do have such diverse preferences. (I mean, it's beyond me, but there is even a cult following of Drop Dead Fred!).