Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken
Oct. 26th, 2009 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tabular_rasa[Error: unknown template qotd]
I usually let them know my feelings, though I may or may not be dramatic about it. My most aggressive reaction would be if someone were being explicitly attacked; I'm quick to jump to an innocent person's defense, even if I have to be a bit nasty to someone I care about. If they're saying something behind someone's back, or just making a generally offensive comment to no one in particular (perhaps hoping I'll be in agreement with them) I usually try to set them straight that I don't feel the same way without being too defensive or holier-than-thou. (Though I'll confess to sometimes rolling my eyes, etc, as if I can't take it seriously they even feel that way). I used to get into rants with all these heartfelt details about human rights when I was in high school, but I've realized that people seldom change their feelings just because of what I say. I'll rant about it later to friends or in my lj, but the person I truly want to address probably isn't going to care. (On top of that, I think some people get a kick out of hearing others react defensively to their words so they can argue or condescend to them, and I don't like to give them the satisfaction). When it's a close friend, I might follow-up later with some prying questions to try to get to the source of why they feel that way in order to change it-- but shouting at them in the heat of the moment won't change anything.
That said, when it comes to confronting people close to me, I still do argue about social and political issues pretty openly with both my dad and my brother. They're not racist or anything, but they can be insensitive in my opinion-- and they'll exaggerate their beliefs just to get a rise out of me, I think. (It's almost grown to be a sport in my house, making super-conservative comments to piss off the bleeding-heart one in the family!). But while I can depend on my family to love me in spite of it, I've had too many bad experiences when it comes to arguing with friends that I try not to these days.
Also, I should mention that I don't tend to say anything when someone makes a racist or homophobic joke. A lot of people find that sort of humor offensive, but while I don't stand for the sentiment behind it I am comfortable with socially inappropriate humor as a general rule. It just doesn't bother me, and it doesn't necessarily mean the person actually holds the views the joke suggests.
Edit (7:46): Well, speak of the devil, check out the article my mom just sent me: Chicago Nightclub Barred Blacks. In this situation, I would get pissy with somebody. Are they fucking serious?
I usually let them know my feelings, though I may or may not be dramatic about it. My most aggressive reaction would be if someone were being explicitly attacked; I'm quick to jump to an innocent person's defense, even if I have to be a bit nasty to someone I care about. If they're saying something behind someone's back, or just making a generally offensive comment to no one in particular (perhaps hoping I'll be in agreement with them) I usually try to set them straight that I don't feel the same way without being too defensive or holier-than-thou. (Though I'll confess to sometimes rolling my eyes, etc, as if I can't take it seriously they even feel that way). I used to get into rants with all these heartfelt details about human rights when I was in high school, but I've realized that people seldom change their feelings just because of what I say. I'll rant about it later to friends or in my lj, but the person I truly want to address probably isn't going to care. (On top of that, I think some people get a kick out of hearing others react defensively to their words so they can argue or condescend to them, and I don't like to give them the satisfaction). When it's a close friend, I might follow-up later with some prying questions to try to get to the source of why they feel that way in order to change it-- but shouting at them in the heat of the moment won't change anything.
That said, when it comes to confronting people close to me, I still do argue about social and political issues pretty openly with both my dad and my brother. They're not racist or anything, but they can be insensitive in my opinion-- and they'll exaggerate their beliefs just to get a rise out of me, I think. (It's almost grown to be a sport in my house, making super-conservative comments to piss off the bleeding-heart one in the family!). But while I can depend on my family to love me in spite of it, I've had too many bad experiences when it comes to arguing with friends that I try not to these days.
Also, I should mention that I don't tend to say anything when someone makes a racist or homophobic joke. A lot of people find that sort of humor offensive, but while I don't stand for the sentiment behind it I am comfortable with socially inappropriate humor as a general rule. It just doesn't bother me, and it doesn't necessarily mean the person actually holds the views the joke suggests.
Edit (7:46): Well, speak of the devil, check out the article my mom just sent me: Chicago Nightclub Barred Blacks. In this situation, I would get pissy with somebody. Are they fucking serious?
