Writer's Block: Love is deaf

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Um, *horrific*? It's a pet peeve of mine when people judge other people's taste in music, since it's a totally subjective thing. What is *bad* music? Just because you don't like it doesn't mean someone else doesn't appreciate it, or even prefer it above all other types-- and how do you know which one of you has the better taste? There are genres, bands, and songs I'm not fond of or even downright dislike, but I would never seriously condescend to anyone who enjoyed them. (I might tease, but that's a different story). You might hate Lady Gaga for her repetitive tunes and nonsense lyrics, or you might love her for her style, catchiness, and danceable fun; you might hate Hindemith for his atonal and seemingly tuneless sound, or you might love him for his unconventional and experimental genius. And I frankly don't think musical education or composition experience has anything to do with it; take any two formally-educated composers or professional musicians and see if they're listening to the exact same things on their ipods. Taste is as diverse as personality.

So this question is really asking whether I would be able to spend my life with someone with totally different tastes from me. There are some things to consider: What do you listen to in the car when you travel together? What do you listen to in the house? Do you have to listen with headphones all the time, having to choose either interaction with your partner or private time with your music because you're unable to play music aloud when you're together? If you're both passionate about music and enjoy having it as a background to your life, I think it does make things easier to have at least some common taste. But it's not a deal-breaker. There are so many worse things to fight over, and if you're going to split up because you can't handle listening to his death metal for an hour after he endures your vintage Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears for 60 grueling minutes, I expect the issue wasn't really the music in the first place.

To me, music is a very personal thing. A good piece also tends to take up the majority of my attention, a distraction from everything and anyone else. (Those who have ridden in the car with me when a favorite song comes on have likely observed how I stop conversation to sing along). I think I enjoy listening to music best when I'm alone, or in some semblance of alone-feeling, such as a symphony concert where everyone is quiet and concentrating. It's not really a social thing for me. I'm not into the concert scene and I don't really need to talk that much about music; I'll discuss it when someone brings it up and I'll accept and deliver recommendations, but most of the time it's enough to just listen and feel. Therefore, I don't really require my closest companions to share my tastes or even necessarily a love of music at all, because I can enjoy mine totally independent of them.

(Though . . . if you don't like music, any sort of music, I think you might have something wrong with you O.o).

That said, I got really lucky with Robert. (Lol, I might get spoiled by him and change my mind; I do talk about music much more with him than I do with most of my friends). I never expected to find someone with the exact same tastes as me, considering I have very broad but still explicit tastes with some weird specific caveats-- like always preferring minor key to major key, regardless of genre. Yet Robert has very similar tastes to me, so much it shocked me when we first got talking about music. My tastes are a bit broader-- I know more popular music than he does-- while his knowledge of some of our mutually-loved genres runs deeper than mine, but what we do hold in common is pretty sizable. He loves instrumental music, from classical to movie soundtracks (which in my opinion includes some of the best orchestral music being written today), and prefers things to be in a minor key, too. Since he's a musician and spends a lot of time at his keyboard playing and composing, it's a good thing, too. Instead of shutting the door or getting irritated, I come over and enjoy it!

Writer's Block: Love is deaf

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Um, *horrific*? It's a pet peeve of mine when people judge other people's taste in music, since it's a totally subjective thing. What is *bad* music? Just because you don't like it doesn't mean someone else doesn't appreciate it, or even prefer it above all other types-- and how do you know which one of you has the better taste? There are genres, bands, and songs I'm not fond of or even downright dislike, but I would never seriously condescend to anyone who enjoyed them. (I might tease, but that's a different story). You might hate Lady Gaga for her repetitive tunes and nonsense lyrics, or you might love her for her style, catchiness, and danceable fun; you might hate Hindemith for his atonal and seemingly tuneless sound, or you might love him for his unconventional and experimental genius. And I frankly don't think musical education or composition experience has anything to do with it; take any two formally-educated composers or professional musicians and see if they're listening to the exact same things on their ipods. Taste is as diverse as personality.

So this question is really asking whether I would be able to spend my life with someone with totally different tastes from me. There are some things to consider: What do you listen to in the car when you travel together? What do you listen to in the house? Do you have to listen with headphones all the time, having to choose either interaction with your partner or private time with your music because you're unable to play music aloud when you're together? If you're both passionate about music and enjoy having it as a background to your life, I think it does make things easier to have at least some common taste. But it's not a deal-breaker. There are so many worse things to fight over, and if you're going to split up because you can't handle listening to his death metal for an hour after he endures your vintage Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears for 60 grueling minutes, I expect the issue wasn't really the music in the first place.

To me, music is a very personal thing. A good piece also tends to take up the majority of my attention, a distraction from everything and anyone else. (Those who have ridden in the car with me when a favorite song comes on have likely observed how I stop conversation to sing along). I think I enjoy listening to music best when I'm alone, or in some semblance of alone-feeling, such as a symphony concert where everyone is quiet and concentrating. It's not really a social thing for me. I'm not into the concert scene and I don't really need to talk that much about music; I'll discuss it when someone brings it up and I'll accept and deliver recommendations, but most of the time it's enough to just listen and feel. Therefore, I don't really require my closest companions to share my tastes or even necessarily a love of music at all, because I can enjoy mine totally independent of them.

(Though . . . if you don't like music, any sort of music, I think you might have something wrong with you O.o).

That said, I got really lucky with Robert. (Lol, I might get spoiled by him and change my mind; I do talk about music much more with him than I do with most of my friends). I never expected to find someone with the exact same tastes as me, considering I have very broad but still explicit tastes with some weird specific caveats-- like always preferring minor key to major key, regardless of genre. Yet Robert has very similar tastes to me, so much it shocked me when we first got talking about music. My tastes are a bit broader-- I know more popular music than he does-- while his knowledge of some of our mutually-loved genres runs deeper than mine, but what we do hold in common is pretty sizable. He loves instrumental music, from classical to movie soundtracks (which in my opinion includes some of the best orchestral music being written today), and prefers things to be in a minor key, too. Since he's a musician and spends a lot of time at his keyboard playing and composing, it's a good thing, too. Instead of shutting the door or getting irritated, I come over and enjoy it!

Writer's Block: Do (political) opposites attract?

[Error: unknown template qotd]

First of all, define "respect." I certainly respect the right of others to hold an opinion distinct from mine; I wouldn't be entitled to my own if they weren't entitled to theirs. That said, I feel absolutely no obligation to respect the opinion itself. I'm pretty good about considering why people feel the way they do, since most people have valid reasons for believing what they believe, but just because I can see how someone might justify their viewpoint doesn't mean they've proved their correctness. There are a lot of idiots in the world, and just because you can logic something out doesn't mean it's correct.

However, when it comes to political opinions influencing my respect for a person in his or her entirety-- no. People are so much deeper than the political opinions to which they subscribe-- especially when, for better or worse, many people don't even put that much thought into them. In high school I knew so many Republicans who were Republicans because their parents were but couldn't tell you the first thing the Republican Party stands for, or were For Prayer In Schools but completely misunderstood the issue and were proponents of something they didn't truly understand simply because it sounded good. But even those who believe strongly in causes I find misguided or even cruel-- and are well educated enough that I can't even just write them off as ignorant-- are not necessarily indecent or immoral people when it comes to my daily interaction with them. Voting differently than me on one ambiguous political topic doesn't really say anything about their character otherwise. Is it really dangerous to my children that my trustworthy and competent babysitter is an opponent of same-sex marriage? Is it really a deal breaker that my boyfriend once voted for Bush? I'm sure it helps that I grew up where I did; I would have alienated myself from about 90% of the population-- including most of my family-- if I couldn't find a way to be civil in spite of political disagreement. And I've come to see that there's just so much more to people than their political views.

Now, when the politics becomes consistently relevant to our interaction, we might have a trust issue, however. When Bush was in power with so many views so disparate from my own and the power to act on them, I didn't trust him. When he acted on them, and especially when those actions failed, I lost respect for him. However, that still doesn't mean I wouldn't trust him to drive my car or watch my kids, because those things have nothing to do his thoughts on Middle Eastern dictatorships, torture, or religion in schools. I don't want a misogynist for a boyfriend, a pro-Mandatory Prayer In Schools principle for my boss, or an opponent of birth control for unmarried women for my gynecologist, but I could probably deal with a misogynist, mandatory prayer proponent, or birth control opponent as a friend.

It can get tricky when I feel like someone's viewpoint is genuinely harmful to people, too. Does befriending a neo-Nazi or a member of the KKK mean I sanction his beliefs? But if you think about it, refusing to interact with someone because of their views doesn't help the situation. No one learns anything, no one changes. Wouldn't I be better off trying for friendship in the hopes that they'll come to better understand my perspective and shift from theirs? (Even if that may be a very idealistic goal to hope for /-:). At the very least, when so many issues I take offense to revolve around tolerance, isn't it better to stand by my principles and tolerate those who disagree with me? Even if they can't even tolerate me, nothing's stopping me standing my ground and proving my rightness with my actions.

In other news, it's 7:45 pm and I am WIPED. It doesn't help knowing that Robert (whose time I am still on) just went to bed. I'm going to try to hold off at least a couple hours by doing my dishes and taking a hot bath, but I imagine I will be waking up pretty early tomorrow. I guess better that than needing to sleep in, huh?

Writer's Block: Do (political) opposites attract?

[Error: unknown template qotd]

First of all, define "respect." I certainly respect the right of others to hold an opinion distinct from mine; I wouldn't be entitled to my own if they weren't entitled to theirs. That said, I feel absolutely no obligation to respect the opinion itself. I'm pretty good about considering why people feel the way they do, since most people have valid reasons for believing what they believe, but just because I can see how someone might justify their viewpoint doesn't mean they've proved their correctness. There are a lot of idiots in the world, and just because you can logic something out doesn't mean it's correct.

However, when it comes to political opinions influencing my respect for a person in his or her entirety-- no. People are so much deeper than the political opinions to which they subscribe-- especially when, for better or worse, many people don't even put that much thought into them. In high school I knew so many Republicans who were Republicans because their parents were but couldn't tell you the first thing the Republican Party stands for, or were For Prayer In Schools but completely misunderstood the issue and were proponents of something they didn't truly understand simply because it sounded good. But even those who believe strongly in causes I find misguided or even cruel-- and are well educated enough that I can't even just write them off as ignorant-- are not necessarily indecent or immoral people when it comes to my daily interaction with them. Voting differently than me on one ambiguous political topic doesn't really say anything about their character otherwise. Is it really dangerous to my children that my trustworthy and competent babysitter is an opponent of same-sex marriage? Is it really a deal breaker that my boyfriend once voted for Bush? I'm sure it helps that I grew up where I did; I would have alienated myself from about 90% of the population-- including most of my family-- if I couldn't find a way to be civil in spite of political disagreement. And I've come to see that there's just so much more to people than their political views.

Now, when the politics becomes consistently relevant to our interaction, we might have a trust issue, however. When Bush was in power with so many views so disparate from my own and the power to act on them, I didn't trust him. When he acted on them, and especially when those actions failed, I lost respect for him. However, that still doesn't mean I wouldn't trust him to drive my car or watch my kids, because those things have nothing to do his thoughts on Middle Eastern dictatorships, torture, or religion in schools. I don't want a misogynist for a boyfriend, a pro-Mandatory Prayer In Schools principle for my boss, or an opponent of birth control for unmarried women for my gynecologist, but I could probably deal with a misogynist, mandatory prayer proponent, or birth control opponent as a friend.

It can get tricky when I feel like someone's viewpoint is genuinely harmful to people, too. Does befriending a neo-Nazi or a member of the KKK mean I sanction his beliefs? But if you think about it, refusing to interact with someone because of their views doesn't help the situation. No one learns anything, no one changes. Wouldn't I be better off trying for friendship in the hopes that they'll come to better understand my perspective and shift from theirs? (Even if that may be a very idealistic goal to hope for /-:). At the very least, when so many issues I take offense to revolve around tolerance, isn't it better to stand by my principles and tolerate those who disagree with me? Even if they can't even tolerate me, nothing's stopping me standing my ground and proving my rightness with my actions.

In other news, it's 7:45 pm and I am WIPED. It doesn't help knowing that Robert (whose time I am still on) just went to bed. I'm going to try to hold off at least a couple hours by doing my dishes and taking a hot bath, but I imagine I will be waking up pretty early tomorrow. I guess better that than needing to sleep in, huh?