Writer's Block: Ohhh, baby

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I'd probably smack them and ask WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? because none of my best friends are in any position to be having children at the moment. (I'd also think it was very weird they're asking me to pop out their baby, when I can barely get slim-fit tampons in; I'd probably crush the poor thing's skull :-P). As for my partner, I'd be pretty against him having sex with anyone else, and while I guess I don't really have a right to say what he does or doesn't do with his semen at this point, I'd probably advise against it. (And wonder why the heck my friends want a baby that's 1/2 my boyfriend? When some of them haven't even met him? O.o).

Even if my friend were of a legitimate child-bearing age, had been trying unsuccessfully to conceive for some time, and for whatever reason wouldn't adopt, I still would be very wary of getting involved in this. While I might be weirdly flattered that they want my genes (or my partner's) and/or trust me to bring their baby to term, there are just too many possible risks-- and just general things I'd be comfortable with. Even if I don't actually have sex with their partner, if I'm just the incubator for the baby, I worry that if complications arose in the pregnancy or delivery something of the blame game would start: What if I deliver their baby early, deprived of oxygen, malformed, stillborn? What if in delivering the baby I am rendered incapable of delivering my own children down the line, or even killed? I don't think either of us would want to have those things on our conscience. These are difficult enough when you've only yourself and your own choices to blame.

As for my partner . . . If you can't use your own husband's sperm (ie: joined with your egg in a lab and then inserted back into you or a surrogate, etc), can't you just use a sperm bank? That's what they're there for. I think you can even be specific about the features of the baby. It just seems creepy to specifically want my partner or me. Maybe I'm just jealous and suspicious, but I wouldn't help but wonder if the purpose weren't at least partially to bed me or my partner, or have some weird claim over one of us through the genetics of the child.

Admittedly, I might feel differently if I were really presented with this and all of the options in real life by a person I really care about. However, while I don't know a lot about the ins and outs of surrogate conception, I think in this day and age you should be able to get around actually sleeping with a surrogate partner and be able to acquire necessary surrogates with whom you share no emotional connection. I think this is one case where unemotional is better. Naming your best friend godparent of your child is one thing, but, in my opinion, naming them parent borders on creepy.

Now, if you're just asking me to be present in the room while you get it on because my presence magically makes you more aroused and fertile, we'll talk. (LOL).

Writer's Block: Ohhh, baby

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I'd probably smack them and ask WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? because none of my best friends are in any position to be having children at the moment. (I'd also think it was very weird they're asking me to pop out their baby, when I can barely get slim-fit tampons in; I'd probably crush the poor thing's skull :-P). As for my partner, I'd be pretty against him having sex with anyone else, and while I guess I don't really have a right to say what he does or doesn't do with his semen at this point, I'd probably advise against it. (And wonder why the heck my friends want a baby that's 1/2 my boyfriend? When some of them haven't even met him? O.o).

Even if my friend were of a legitimate child-bearing age, had been trying unsuccessfully to conceive for some time, and for whatever reason wouldn't adopt, I still would be very wary of getting involved in this. While I might be weirdly flattered that they want my genes (or my partner's) and/or trust me to bring their baby to term, there are just too many possible risks-- and just general things I'd be comfortable with. Even if I don't actually have sex with their partner, if I'm just the incubator for the baby, I worry that if complications arose in the pregnancy or delivery something of the blame game would start: What if I deliver their baby early, deprived of oxygen, malformed, stillborn? What if in delivering the baby I am rendered incapable of delivering my own children down the line, or even killed? I don't think either of us would want to have those things on our conscience. These are difficult enough when you've only yourself and your own choices to blame.

As for my partner . . . If you can't use your own husband's sperm (ie: joined with your egg in a lab and then inserted back into you or a surrogate, etc), can't you just use a sperm bank? That's what they're there for. I think you can even be specific about the features of the baby. It just seems creepy to specifically want my partner or me. Maybe I'm just jealous and suspicious, but I wouldn't help but wonder if the purpose weren't at least partially to bed me or my partner, or have some weird claim over one of us through the genetics of the child.

Admittedly, I might feel differently if I were really presented with this and all of the options in real life by a person I really care about. However, while I don't know a lot about the ins and outs of surrogate conception, I think in this day and age you should be able to get around actually sleeping with a surrogate partner and be able to acquire necessary surrogates with whom you share no emotional connection. I think this is one case where unemotional is better. Naming your best friend godparent of your child is one thing, but, in my opinion, naming them parent borders on creepy.

Now, if you're just asking me to be present in the room while you get it on because my presence magically makes you more aroused and fertile, we'll talk. (LOL).