tabular_rasa | Aug. 4th, 2005

Today Tiffany and I discussed Jessica's psyche.

We also discussed philosophy. I was going to write all about it in here, but, well, I talked it all out of me and so I'm going to have to wait until I'm all inspired again . . . besides, I have so much to write about anyway.

The Shakescenes dress rehearsal went well (unfortunately, lol . . . they're supposed to go badly, aren't they?) today. Kristina's livers of blaspheming Jews are SO INSANELY GROSS . . . ketchup and jello-- it goes SQUISH and explodes in the cauldron (which smells nasty, what with the rotten ramen and all, lol . . . and Mrs. Glenn's fake blood-wax stuff . . . ), and looks, well, rather like menstrual goo. Eww.

I went to Steak 'n' Shake with eye makeup on and a hairdo like a psycho, lol . . .

I have added two books (both nonfiction, oddly enough) to my "I ought to read but they're too expensive now so I'll wait 30 years until they show up in the nickel section of the library" (lol) list: Racing the Enemy: Stalin, Truman, and the Surrender of Japan (all about the choice to use the atomic bomb, involving the inter-relationships of all three countries, Japan, Russia, and the US-- not just unilaterally) by Tsuyoshi Hasegawa, and The Ruin of J. Robert Oppenheimer by Priscilla J. McMillan. I really ought to read the Christian Science Monitor every year when they review books about this time . . . they must all be about the atomic bomb, lol . . .

The first one sounds like someone write up my alley about the atomic bomb. The fellow's Japanese, but he lives in America, so I bet some people give him a hard time about that, but still . . . he realizes what a selfish bastard Truman was. He mentions what a "hurry" Truman was in to use the bomb, and how he never even bothered to consider other options, nixing them all out, the bastard. "First, Truman wanted to avoid a land invasion of Japan, which would kill thousands of Americans. Second, he was determined to impose unconditional surrender on the Japanese because that would have made him appear weak. He also worried that a failure to achieve unconditional surrender might fortify those in Japan who wanted to continue fighting." He was all about his own f*cking image. Bastard. Selfish bastard. Anyway . . . and caring more about Americans than people in general, even if you're their leader, is juvenile.

I would so go use this in that Hiroshima chatroom on Saturday if they still had it, lol . . . I don't think that they do . . . *Sigh* My tradition is destroyed . . . ahh well . . . perhaps it's better I DON'T get that adrenaline rush this year, lol . . . I get it too often, anyway . . . I'm going to have a heart attack and die on an August 6th . . . how ironic . . . lol . . .

There's also a passage they cite that makes Mr. Hasegawa sounds really right up my alley: "They were neither heroes nor villains, just men." I love that. It's so true. The review, however, goes, "In a story marked by unspeakable carnage, brutal territorial acquisitiveness, and shameless mendacity (wow, I might add, big freaking words, lol . . . ) that is the only one of Hasegawa's claims that does not ring true: There was plenty of villainy to go around." Pssh, so not true. We are, and they were, just men. We also are. What, if you're a leader in a war, you suddenly turn into a manifestation of good or evil?

The second book is a biography of an unlikely figure for me to like, but it's perfectly understandable why I'm interested in him. Oppenheimer, after all, was innocent-- what he invented he himself did not understand. I can so see him, so vividly, getting caught up in the thrill of inventing, the science of it . . . he was in it for the wrong reasons-- coupled with a belief that it was truly right, that it would truly bring peace. He realized, however, once it was used, that it was a terrible thing he had unleashed, and regretted it. He devoted the rest of his life to trying to stop Truman from developing the hydrogen bomb to keep up with the atomic bomb rat race, and, due to his connections with the Communist party and general power-hungry, selfish, destructiveness, was discredited and destroyed politically, socially, and historically, really. Sad day . . .

In other words, J. Robert Oppenheimer is the freakin' REGULUS A. BLACK of the Cold War!!! He got in so far, probably thinking it was right, panicked, tried to back out and destroy it at the same time, and was, hence, destroyed. His connection to Order member Sirius Black probably didn't help things much, either, lol . . .

Wow, I'm really way too nuts about this, lol . . .

The Christian Science Monitor (speaking of which, I'm going to have to get a subscription of that-- or like US News or Time or SOMETHING-- or have my parents send them too me while I'm in college . . . I cannot go without valid information about the world, lol . . . and even if I get a St. Louis newspaper, it's still going to be very St. Louis-centric, lol . . . ) writes good reviews, anyway . . . and I have written several books I want to read, but haven't read, because they're darn freaking expensive $30 hardbacks at this point, and, well, I'm only allowed to blow that kind of money on Harry Potter, lol ^_^ Plus, I also have to buy school textbooks at some point. I don't know how the hell that is going to work . . . I don't even schedule classes until I get down there.

I did, however, buy that "Brown" book that I have to have read by the beginning of the school year. However, I cannot visit that random site with that other thing we have to read because it is some secret crazy random computer code that only crazy computer hackers can use, or something. You have to enter from a "secure port" or some bullsh*t. Anyway, can you tell I'M STRESSED OUT from all I have to do before college???

( Funny Harry Potter (WITH SPOILERS!!!) Icons and Comments on Them )

( Memegens )

. . . and another one of these:

List 5 songs that you are currently digging. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good. But they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your five songs, then tag 5 other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Dragostea Din Tei (Numa Numa Ei) by O-Zone
2. Holiday by Green Day
3. His Name is Lancelot from the Spamalot soundtrack
4. Speed of Sound by Coldplay
5. Anything from my newly purchased full Les Miserables soundtrack ^_^ PARTICULARLY if it is been parodied and is allowed to be sung that way, lol . . .

And I tag:

gingitsune3
toasterobsessed
oddwhiteguy
tarmetiel (yeah, you've already been tagged by Julia, but what the heck . . . )
gemma_thompson (you, too, but since we're analyzing your psyche and all :-P)