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tabular_rasaLast night Keith came home and the surprise cupcake party we were going to throw him turned into quite the shananigan. I was sitting with the cupcakes behind me, as if it wasn't obvious, and then Patricia threw the candles at me, and then, after Henry, Anu, and I took Keith outside (he was very skeptical-- and quite well-aware-- of our motives), Patricia revealed that she didn't have any idea anymore where her matches were. So we returned back upstairs, didn't light the candles, and just ate the cupcakes. Plus, Patricia and Lisa and I had nothing but the "extra" gifts for Keith-- we hadn't had the time/inspiration for getting anything good-- so he ended up with a cheap pink plastic boomerang and a green Hot Wheels (we're sorry, Keith, lol . . . ). Hey, at least it wasn't a Billy Bass (oh, that would have been wonderful!) or a Hunters Today (or worse) magazine. You should have seen us looking for these gifts, lol . . .
. . . oh, and a can of "Chicken Gumbo," with "Chicken" crossed out and "Seafood" written on it in permanent marker, lol . . .
The boomerang doesn't even work, either; they blame me for having taken off the already-falling-off glow-in-the-dark stickers, but it's just . . . crap. I mean, the thing cost like $1.50 (once again, we're sorry, Keith, lol . . . ). Keith and Henry and I went outside after the "party" (which was very quiet in the midst of Patricia's two very quiet Pre-Frosh, and the fact that nobody even wanted to eat the cupcakes, and they ended up having orange-- as in orange-tasting-- frosting), and threw around this boomerang. Keith would chuck it in every permutation of a boomerang-throw, and it would just . . . go straight. Not only that, it didn't even go very far, and it would take a hell of a long time to get there. The spin just made it slow down, not curve. We did this for like a half-an-hour, too . . . those soccer players out there must have thought we were crazy, but, well, they were crazy, playing out there in the dark like that like they were!
Anyway, it was quite hilarious. Ha, ha, ghetto boomerang, lol . . .
Apparently Lisa and I had a near-mutual dream! That is so cool! We both had dreams involving performing Wicked-- and I ended up as Elphaba both times (as if, lol . . . ). In mine, I was going to Chicago or New York or someplace on a train with Tiffany, Jessica, and Jamie (why were Jamie or Jessica not Elphaba-- like Elphaba and Glinda or something? Jamie and Jessica can actually sing . . . ). The train had to stop two feet from out of the station (because it left too fast) to let us on. For some reason, too, Laura was there-- so randomly. Then, when we got there, there was something about eating this weird, ghetto $30 salmon that totally wasn't worth it, and then we got to performing our ghetto musical. I remember I had a hell of a trouble keeping my green makeup on, and I completely forgot one song entirely, and just straight-up skipped it (I suspect it was a song that wasn't even really in the show, just in our dream-world of the show, lol . . . ). Also, Duchie (Tiffany's cat) crashed the show (maybe she smelled that ghetto salmon on us, or something, lol . . . ), crawling onto the stage in the middle of the song "Defying Gravity," which was just random, lol . . .
Lisa dreamed (I don't know all the details, this is just from what she told me at lunch today, lol . . . ) that she and I tried out for a performance of Wicked, and I (again) was Elphaba and she was Nessarose.
Woot for mutual dreams!
You know, I've realized (as I have for some time now), I'm a very weird sort of hypocrite. I'm the same sort of "hypocrite" John Kerry was, the type that nobody understands. I'm extremely liberal (liberatarian, even-- perhaps even anarchical!) in my views of society, and yet my personal views are very conservative-- as in, I'm all for legalizing abortion, gay marriage, and marijuana, yet I don't smoke pot, am not gay, and would have to seriously, seriously consider ever aborting a baby-- particularly since I'm still pretty wary of premarital sex. What? You mean you actually don't force your personal views on other people??? Yeah, that's about right; I have what I believe in for myself, and I have what I believe in for society, which is totally different and ultimately more free, because, well, I actually recognize that people have different goals in their lives. Can you imagine what life would be like if all of our goals were the same? We'd use up all each other's resources (It's like that bizarre Jehovah's Witnesses thing-- if there's only 144,450 spaces left in Heaven, don't you want to save one for you?)! Lately I've been even more imbued with the merits of Utilitarianism; it really does make more sense, people, to just let others do as they ought, as they wish, as they want (save the Harm Principle, the only rule in the midst of Absolute Freedom), for everything will actually balance out in the end!
The relevant part, though, has nothing to do with conservatism and liberalism. It has to do with loyalty. Tiffany got very angry with me this weekend when we were talking about loyalty, and how she has the traditional sense of loyalty in which she feels duty to another just for loyalty out of them, and will stand by them no matter because, well, she's loyal: As in, she'll drive the car to take them to Mexico if they murder somebody. I've always been like, "Umm, screw that; if you murder somebody, I'm not taking you anywhere." It's the dichotomy between loyalty to conviction and loyalty to person. Which is more important, after all? I came to the conclusion I wouldn't turn them in, either; but I sure as hell wasn't taking them anywhere.
Yet now I wonder about that, sometimes. There are people I care strongly enough about that I feel like I might adopt their own convictions out of love to them, or something. It sort of scares me, makes me worried-- but it sort of makes me happy, at the same time.
What the hell am I blabbling about this in here, for? This is one of my main themes of my book! Agghhh!!! *Goes off to write.*
Edit (12:47): I've also realized a lot of Western social psychology does not apply to me. Somehow or another, I seem to fit the Eastern standard of perception of myself much better. It's really weird. How'd I get that way? Maybe stuff is a priori, and I was really meant to be born in Japan, lol . . .
(y'all better comment, now, you lazies! I took the time to write this out extra for you, and saved you the time of reading it, so y'all better comment!)
Lisa, Patricia, and I (along with Anu, Henry, and Patricia's two Pre-Frosh) threw a very ghetto "birthday party" for Keith. There were cupcakes with unlit candles. He received a cheap boomerang which only goes straight, a green Hot Wheels, andChicken Seafood Gumbo.
Lisa and I had the same dream-- about performing in Wicked. I was Elphaba both times. So weird; go figure . . .
I am sort of personally conversative and legally/socially liberal/libertarian/anarchist.
I feel more loyal than I used to be.
I do not suit Western social psychology; I suit Eastern social psychology better.
Edit (10:59 pm): Laura apparently had a dream about me last night, too. Apparently I died in it, though, and didn't play Elphaba, and didn't see her on any train. I didn't quite actually die, though; I was about too, but then she woke up. Aww, she's concerned about me . . . she didn't wake up when Rick died, lol . . . :-P
. . . oh, and a can of "Chicken Gumbo," with "Chicken" crossed out and "Seafood" written on it in permanent marker, lol . . .
The boomerang doesn't even work, either; they blame me for having taken off the already-falling-off glow-in-the-dark stickers, but it's just . . . crap. I mean, the thing cost like $1.50 (once again, we're sorry, Keith, lol . . . ). Keith and Henry and I went outside after the "party" (which was very quiet in the midst of Patricia's two very quiet Pre-Frosh, and the fact that nobody even wanted to eat the cupcakes, and they ended up having orange-- as in orange-tasting-- frosting), and threw around this boomerang. Keith would chuck it in every permutation of a boomerang-throw, and it would just . . . go straight. Not only that, it didn't even go very far, and it would take a hell of a long time to get there. The spin just made it slow down, not curve. We did this for like a half-an-hour, too . . . those soccer players out there must have thought we were crazy, but, well, they were crazy, playing out there in the dark like that like they were!
Anyway, it was quite hilarious. Ha, ha, ghetto boomerang, lol . . .
Apparently Lisa and I had a near-mutual dream! That is so cool! We both had dreams involving performing Wicked-- and I ended up as Elphaba both times (as if, lol . . . ). In mine, I was going to Chicago or New York or someplace on a train with Tiffany, Jessica, and Jamie (why were Jamie or Jessica not Elphaba-- like Elphaba and Glinda or something? Jamie and Jessica can actually sing . . . ). The train had to stop two feet from out of the station (because it left too fast) to let us on. For some reason, too, Laura was there-- so randomly. Then, when we got there, there was something about eating this weird, ghetto $30 salmon that totally wasn't worth it, and then we got to performing our ghetto musical. I remember I had a hell of a trouble keeping my green makeup on, and I completely forgot one song entirely, and just straight-up skipped it (I suspect it was a song that wasn't even really in the show, just in our dream-world of the show, lol . . . ). Also, Duchie (Tiffany's cat) crashed the show (maybe she smelled that ghetto salmon on us, or something, lol . . . ), crawling onto the stage in the middle of the song "Defying Gravity," which was just random, lol . . .
Lisa dreamed (I don't know all the details, this is just from what she told me at lunch today, lol . . . ) that she and I tried out for a performance of Wicked, and I (again) was Elphaba and she was Nessarose.
Woot for mutual dreams!
You know, I've realized (as I have for some time now), I'm a very weird sort of hypocrite. I'm the same sort of "hypocrite" John Kerry was, the type that nobody understands. I'm extremely liberal (liberatarian, even-- perhaps even anarchical!) in my views of society, and yet my personal views are very conservative-- as in, I'm all for legalizing abortion, gay marriage, and marijuana, yet I don't smoke pot, am not gay, and would have to seriously, seriously consider ever aborting a baby-- particularly since I'm still pretty wary of premarital sex. What? You mean you actually don't force your personal views on other people??? Yeah, that's about right; I have what I believe in for myself, and I have what I believe in for society, which is totally different and ultimately more free, because, well, I actually recognize that people have different goals in their lives. Can you imagine what life would be like if all of our goals were the same? We'd use up all each other's resources (It's like that bizarre Jehovah's Witnesses thing-- if there's only 144,450 spaces left in Heaven, don't you want to save one for you?)! Lately I've been even more imbued with the merits of Utilitarianism; it really does make more sense, people, to just let others do as they ought, as they wish, as they want (save the Harm Principle, the only rule in the midst of Absolute Freedom), for everything will actually balance out in the end!
The relevant part, though, has nothing to do with conservatism and liberalism. It has to do with loyalty. Tiffany got very angry with me this weekend when we were talking about loyalty, and how she has the traditional sense of loyalty in which she feels duty to another just for loyalty out of them, and will stand by them no matter because, well, she's loyal: As in, she'll drive the car to take them to Mexico if they murder somebody. I've always been like, "Umm, screw that; if you murder somebody, I'm not taking you anywhere." It's the dichotomy between loyalty to conviction and loyalty to person. Which is more important, after all? I came to the conclusion I wouldn't turn them in, either; but I sure as hell wasn't taking them anywhere.
Yet now I wonder about that, sometimes. There are people I care strongly enough about that I feel like I might adopt their own convictions out of love to them, or something. It sort of scares me, makes me worried-- but it sort of makes me happy, at the same time.
What the hell am I blabbling about this in here, for? This is one of my main themes of my book! Agghhh!!! *Goes off to write.*
Edit (12:47): I've also realized a lot of Western social psychology does not apply to me. Somehow or another, I seem to fit the Eastern standard of perception of myself much better. It's really weird. How'd I get that way? Maybe stuff is a priori, and I was really meant to be born in Japan, lol . . .
(y'all better comment, now, you lazies! I took the time to write this out extra for you, and saved you the time of reading it, so y'all better comment!)
Lisa, Patricia, and I (along with Anu, Henry, and Patricia's two Pre-Frosh) threw a very ghetto "birthday party" for Keith. There were cupcakes with unlit candles. He received a cheap boomerang which only goes straight, a green Hot Wheels, and
Lisa and I had the same dream-- about performing in Wicked. I was Elphaba both times. So weird; go figure . . .
I am sort of personally conversative and legally/socially liberal/libertarian/anarchist.
I feel more loyal than I used to be.
I do not suit Western social psychology; I suit Eastern social psychology better.
Edit (10:59 pm): Laura apparently had a dream about me last night, too. Apparently I died in it, though, and didn't play Elphaba, and didn't see her on any train. I didn't quite actually die, though; I was about too, but then she woke up. Aww, she's concerned about me . . . she didn't wake up when Rick died, lol . . . :-P
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 11:37 am (UTC)I don't think that it makes you a hypocrite. I think that you believe everyone has the right to make their own choices regarding certain issues and the right to be able to do certain things and so it's your right to choose not to.
In some ways I'm like that, although I am violently opposed to abortion. To me it seems like a type of murder, and if that's illegal then I don't see why abortion should be legal. The only case in which I think it'd be acceptable would be if having the child would kill the mother or if, through genetic testing they found out that the child would have some sort of awful genetic disorder which would cause it to be in terrible pain for the duration of it's life.
When it comes to loyalty, if someone I care for does something illegal then depending on how horrible it is, I probably wouldn't condone it, but I also wouldn't turn them in. For example, if they stole something or shoplifted I wouldn't tell anyone, but I wouldn't help them. However, if they did something really awful like (I can't imagine any of my friends doing this, but for an example) rape someone then yes, I'd turn them in. However, only if they did something awful to someone else. If they did something awful to me, I'd probably just stay away from them, but not turn them in because when it comes to defending myself I have a bad tendency to be a dormat.
This comment is a looot longer than I had originally intended it to be, I'm sorry ^_^
no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 12:02 pm (UTC)And now I'm sad Amy. I can't kill anyone and rely on you. Curses. Can I rely on you for anything now? One waver of loyalty just shows weakness for the rest....
Im in a synical mood right now. Perhaps I shouldn't be commenting.
And I think you are hypicritical....but maybe that's because I don't really agree with that liberal crap in the political/social sense. and I do mean crap. Cause thats what it is. Crap. It's crap like socialism, an extreme form of liberalism, that's killing my Grandpa.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 12:24 pm (UTC)Did you read what I wrote? I said I would do things against my morals for people that I love.
. . . but I'm hoping you all won't try to pull something like that! NO KILLING FOR YOU!!!
It's not hypocrisy, it's a dualism, first of all. Plus, I'm not a socialist. How many times do I have to explain this? I'm not monetarily liberal, which is socialistic. I'm socially liberal.
. . . and that doesn't kill anybody; in fact, it just keeps people from killing other people because they're black, gay, or otherwise non-WASP.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 12:30 pm (UTC)I don't really think it's hyprocrisy, either, but the rest of the world sure seems to think so.
Abortion is a weird one, since there's that whole issue about whether it's really a person or not. You can't, can't, can't solve it perfectly, no matter what philosophy you endorse, until you know that about the baby!
I feel no matter what, I'd have a fit if they did something I didn't believe in, but I'd tell them that and try to get them to make their own choice, by showing them my side. Like, for instance, I've told Tiffany she can't just depend on me to help her bury bodies of people she's killed. However, if it turns out the person killed, say, Jessica, and I was pretty pissed, I might be more likely to help, since I care both about Jessica and Tiffany and I know they'd both (particularly the hypothetically-dead Jessica) would want that, desperately and needily.
Ha, I'm a doormat, too! I should show you my sweater poem. You're a member of
I like long comments! They are in suiting with my long entries!
no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 01:45 pm (UTC)You said, and I quote, "I came to the conclusion I wouldn't turn them in, either; but I sure as hell wasn't taking them anywhere." Which means to me that I cannot rely upon you to take me to mexico, therefore how am I supposed to rely on you for anything else?
And whatever thrice-cursed term you call it -- hypocrisy or dualism -- its all the same load of crap to me.
And how the heck are you supposed to know what kills my grandpa? Socialism is an extreme socially liberal form. Hence the name, smarty. And it is killing him, and you, who don't even know him, can't even start on that.
Now you've gone and made me pissed. Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 06:11 pm (UTC)Yes, I am a member of contained_doily (thank you for allowing me to be one, by the way!) and I will be sure to check out the sweater poem. I don't remember seeing it which is odd because while I don't update often, I check the friends page of my journal every couple of days.
And I am very glad that you don't mind my long comments.