Writer's Block: I need my space ...
Nov. 24th, 2009 06:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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If it seems insincere. Then I would probably assume he's buttering me up so we can get to the point (aka: sex) already. But I can usually tell if it's real, and just being quick to the punchline doesn't bother me. Frankly, I find it flattering when someone is genuinely taken with me right away. Most people seem to take a lot of time to warm up to me. If he finds something special about me to embrace right away, chances are there's something special about him, too.
Robert and I made it clear we were into each other pretty early in the game. We both took a risk; we both probably seemed way ahead of ourselves to an objective observer. But sometimes you just know when it's going to be something special.
(It's funny, because when both people feel this way, it's romantic. Yet when only one person feels it, it's creepy and obsessive. We're kind of bipolar about the rules of love, aren't we?).
As for clinginess . . . There is no way I'm going to call the kettle black. I am quite clingy. I get very attached to and affectionate with the people I love. I prefer having a partner who is similar, who enjoys verbally and physically reinforcing his feelings and spending quality time with me. I have a high threshold for clinginess, and if I need to tell him to stop being clingy, I surely need to tell myself just as much to stop encouraging it. Still, I'd rather we mutually force ourselves to go out and do our own things than feel like I'm begging him for attention and grossly inconveniencing him every time we hang out.
That said, I know the difference between "clingy" and obsessive, jealous, and abusive. If him wanting to spend lots of times with me turns into him guilt-tripping me when I don't or even forbidding me to hang out with anyone but him, then it's not really a question of telling him politely to back down-- it's a question of where I should apply for a restraining order.
If it seems insincere. Then I would probably assume he's buttering me up so we can get to the point (aka: sex) already. But I can usually tell if it's real, and just being quick to the punchline doesn't bother me. Frankly, I find it flattering when someone is genuinely taken with me right away. Most people seem to take a lot of time to warm up to me. If he finds something special about me to embrace right away, chances are there's something special about him, too.
Robert and I made it clear we were into each other pretty early in the game. We both took a risk; we both probably seemed way ahead of ourselves to an objective observer. But sometimes you just know when it's going to be something special.
(It's funny, because when both people feel this way, it's romantic. Yet when only one person feels it, it's creepy and obsessive. We're kind of bipolar about the rules of love, aren't we?).
As for clinginess . . . There is no way I'm going to call the kettle black. I am quite clingy. I get very attached to and affectionate with the people I love. I prefer having a partner who is similar, who enjoys verbally and physically reinforcing his feelings and spending quality time with me. I have a high threshold for clinginess, and if I need to tell him to stop being clingy, I surely need to tell myself just as much to stop encouraging it. Still, I'd rather we mutually force ourselves to go out and do our own things than feel like I'm begging him for attention and grossly inconveniencing him every time we hang out.
That said, I know the difference between "clingy" and obsessive, jealous, and abusive. If him wanting to spend lots of times with me turns into him guilt-tripping me when I don't or even forbidding me to hang out with anyone but him, then it's not really a question of telling him politely to back down-- it's a question of where I should apply for a restraining order.
