tabular_rasa | Check Out the Musical (Reply)

Check out the Les Miserables-based Harry Potter filk musical, Les Magiciens. CONTAINS SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY!!! I am so proud of this, honestly, lol . . .

There are also a few more songs not yet posted upon it, too:

Do You Hear the Wizards Chant? (to the tune of “Do You Hear the People Sing?)

ALASTOR MOODY: Do you hear the wizards chant,

Chanting the spells to save the day?

We are all hexing the Death Eaters who

Muggleborns don’t tolerate.

As they brought in You-Know-You,

We bring in Albus Dumbledore;

The fight of the century

Is soon now in store.

REMUS LUPIN: Who will join up in this thing?

Who will support the Order’s cause?

Who sees danger in the presence

Of their Muggle-hating laws?

NYMPHADORA TONKS (rather lethargically): Join up with us now;

Stop the Death Eaters’ powerful flaws.

THE ORDER: Do you hear the wizards chant,

Chanting the spells to save the day?

We are all hexing the Death Eaters who

Muggleborns don’t tolerate.

As they brought in You-Know-You,

We bring in Albus Dumbledore;

The fight of the century

Is soon now in store.

KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT: Will you give all you can give

To help cease the vile Dark Arts?

BILL WEASLEY: Some will fall, and some will live,

In this odd lottery of sorts.

MOLLY WEASLEY: The work of the Order

May protect the kids at Hogwarts!

THE ORDER: Do you hear the wizards chant,

Chanting the spells to save the day?

We are all hexing the Death Eaters who

Muggleborns don’t tolerate.

As they brought in You-Know-You,

We bring in Albus Dumbledore;

The fight of the century

Is soon now in store.

Heirs of Slytherin (to the tune of "Master of the House")

MARVOLO:

Welcome, Odgen.

I feel unsure;

Tell me right now:

Is your blood all pure?

I’m sorry my son

Attacked you like that

But you looked like Muggle,

And he knocks them flat.

In the house of Gaunt,

We don’t like to flaunt,

But you ought to know that we

Are of finest family–

Heirs of Slytherin,

Purest of the pure,

Near a full millennium

Our lines’s endured.

So maybe we’re inbred;

Maybe we’ve gone poor,

But we’ve got our bloodline

He waves his ring in Ogden’s face.

And a trinket or more.

He drags Merope over to Ogden by her necklace. She chokes but does not protest.

Just guess the value now, of this one:

It belonged to Slytherin himself.

It could buy us a much better house,

But we like that title on our shelf.

He releases her, and she scurries back to her corner by the window.

Heirs of Slytherin;

The law troubles us not.

We ought be off by privilege,

Even if we’re caught.

So you say my son attacked

Some filthy Muggle man?

What’s the shame in that?

You should be glad!

Purebloods always hate the Muggles;

Purebloods don’t put up with them.

So we might attack ‘em!

Merlin! They deserve it in the end!

MARVOLO/MORFIN (together, in Parseltongue):

Heirs of Slytherin,

Now we’re called the Gaunts:

We might look quite funny

‘Cause we all married our aunts.

Royal line of blood,

Historical estate,

Aristocrat, patricien--

On our door’s a snake!

Famous for our dear old Salazar;

Famous for our elite stakes.

MARVOLO:

Though we’ve got the name Slytherin--

Merlin! We’re just dirty little snakes!

So, tell me, Ogden,

Do you drop your charge?

Will my Morfin stay

Safely at large?

I know you’ve ensured

The Muggle’s forgot;

Why worry if Morfin

Is punished or not?

No one tests my son

Or overrides me--

If you are the first one,

Then you’re surely see . . .

He raises his wand threateningly, to illustrate.

We will take you down,

You traitor of blood;

There’s no need to keep around

Those with veins of mud.

Perhaps you note that we

Speak in Parseltongue;

The snakes obey our orders,

So you might want to run.

Morfin holds the adder in his hands, grinning.

The Ministry is less than welcome.

You pompous folks I can’t abide.

I’d rather you had never

Set a foot down here inside.

Don’t you know to whom you speak?

Do you even care?

Do you understand that

We are Slytherin’s heirs?

“Morfin broke a law;

Morfin did a jinx.”

Does anyone care anymore

What the House of Gaunt thinks?

That it’s illegal to hex a Muggle--

Frankly, I’m horrified!

I’d rather see him honored;

I’m proud, and I’m his father!

Merlin! My son should be glorified!

MARVOLO/MORFIN (in Parseltongue):

Heirs of Slytherin,

Now we’re called the Gaunts:

We might look quite funny

‘Cause we all married our aunts.

Royal line of blood,

Historical estate,

Aristocrat, patricien--

On our door’s a snake!

Famous for loss in standing;

Famous for our decadence.

Marvolo refuses to allow his son turned in to the Ministry authorities.

MARVOLO:

Dirty-blooded treas’nist,

Merlin! We just won’t acquiesce!

From the corner, Merope sadly watches Tom Riddle and Cecilia out of the window.

MEROPE: I dream each day

That I will see my prince–

But he took one look at me

And hasn’t looked back since.

Morfin notices, and soon Marvolo is confronting Merope about her business with Tom Riddle. Odgen struggles with himself for a moment.

OGDEN:

Heir of Slytherin,

Contradict him-- do I dare?

"Aristocrat, patricien,"

Abuse extraordinaire!

Their blood is inbred-pure,

Their line is ages old.

They would be quite a family,

If they still had any gold.

He is horrified at Marvolo’s treatment of Merope.

What a cruel trick of nature--

Landing her with these foul kin.

Who knows how she's fared it,

Living with these heirs of Slytherin!

Marvolo takes Merope by the throat, shouting at her.

MARVOLO/MORFIN:

Heirs of Slytherin!

Ogden gets to his feet.

OGDEN:

Heir of house of sin!

MARVOLO/MORFIN:

Aristocrat, patricien,

OGDEN:

Have you no chagrin?

MARVOLO/MORFIN:
Royal line of blood,

Historical estate,

OGDEN:
I’ll call in reinforcements--

Just you wait!

Ogden raises his wand, and Marvolo is flung from Merope.

MARVOLO/MORFIN:

Damn the meddling Ministry man;

Damn him-- and this hooligan!

MEROPE (rubbing her neck, gasping for breath, and scampering away from the others):
I didn’t stand a fighting chance!

OGDEN (running out into Tom Riddle‘s horse):
I got to get out of here, fast!

MARVOLO/MORFIN (brandishing wands and knives after him):

You haven’t seen the last

Of the heirs of Slytherin!

Finale: Dumbledore’s Death (To the tune of “The Finale: Jean Valjean’s Death”)

In a Victor Hugo-style world, everyone has one last chance for a dying soliloquy– even those struck dead immediately by the Avada Kedavra curse. What Dumbledore would say had he the chance in the milliseconds before being thrown from the rampart by his death curse:

DUMBLEDORE (to Harry):

I’m glad you’re here,

Staying beside me.

Now I can die in peace,

For in my life I’ve loved.

HARRY:

You will live! But, sir, you’re going to live!

It’s too soon, too soon for you to die!

DUMBLEDORE:

No, my boy– I cannot even try.

I am weak;

My soul must fly.

One year ago,

I told you of your history–

Of your fate,

As given by prophecy.

Don’t forget

Your power is those who love you;

Your mother gave your life for you

And that has brought you safety.

Those that Harry have loved and lost– his parents and godfather Sirius– appear to come beside Dumbledore, reiterating what he has said.

LILY:

Vow to me

You will complete your duty

To yourself,

And those who love you truly.

Love protects you,

And gives you higher power.

JAMES:

Lord Voldemort shall be undone

Upon that finest hour.

JAMES/LILY/SIRIUS (in harmony):

Hear his words,

For he has always loved you.

Hear our words,

For we still long to help you.

And remember
The truth that he has spoken–

DUMBLEDORE/JAMES/LILY/SIRIUS:
To love another person

Is the greatest gift of life!

Dumbledore slips away. Harry is now released from the charm completely, as the castor is dead, and he can hear the battle raging in the Great Hall below. The faint chorus of the Order can be heard.

THE ORDER: Do you hear the wizards chant,

Chanting their spells into the fray?

Though they fight on valiantly,

They have not yet saved the day.

Though the body may be gone

His spirit in us never dies;

The phoenix always will

Out of the ashes rise.

He will live on in the causes

He so strongly believed in;

He will inspire all his students,

Even some from Slytherin.

The Dark Arts will fall

And a new wizard world shall begin.

Who will join up in this thing?

Who will support the Order’s cause?

Who sees the danger in the presence

Of these Muggle-hating laws?

Do you hear the wizards chant?

Say, do you hear their spells collide?

Though some are fallen,

Their cause, it will never die!

Who will join up in this thing?

Who will support the Order’s cause?

Who sees danger in the presence

Of these Muggle-hating laws?

Do you hear the wizards chant?

Say, do you hear their spells collide?

Though some are fallen,

Their cause, it will never die!

Will never die!

Incomplete (to the tune of the same name by the Backstreet Boys)

At Apparation lessons, Susan Bones stands in her hoop, missing her left leg, which stands back where she originally started.

Sometimes splinching fills you up with holes
You might wonder if it causes broken bones.
It's quite painful-- and it frightens me;
I require some assistance if you please!

I tried to send myself into that wood hoop;
Apparating isn't easy as it looks.
I pray that my leg will rejoin on me,
Because without it on my body I'll be so
Incomplete.

Twycross told me, "Follow the Three D's,"
But when I started, I forgot below my knees.
"Determined," "determined"--
That's what he said.
Without my leg here, I'm surprised that I'm not dead.

I tried to send myself into that wood hoop;
Apparating isn't easy as it looks.
I pray that my leg will rejoin on me,
Because without it on my body I'll be so
Incomplete.

I don't mean to to cause a scene; it's my first time as I'm just sixteen!
I don't really don't know how to Apparate, it seems!

And now I cut my leg off, clean.

I tried to send myself into that wood hoop;
Apparating isn't easy as it looks.
I pray that my leg will rejoin on me,
Because without it on my body I'll be so
Incomplete.

Incomplete.

The sky is going crazy out there. It's heat lightning (or, judging by the warnings, maybe not, lol . . . ). There's a severe thunderstorm warning in LaPorte. I wonder if it will show up here. Heh, I wonder if the kid from Muggle.net can get home okay . . . when is he coming back, anyway? Is he the least bit irked he couldn't read the book right away since he was meeting J.K. Rowling? Lol . . .

Anyway . . . I have been busy. I still am busy. I am entirely inundating myself with too much Harry Potter and too many random plans and I have so much to work out . . . guhh . . . gaa . . .

I need to go take a shower, lol . . .