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tabular_rasaI feel like I've just gotten back from Confession.
I did this Psychology experiment today where I had to write down five situations in which I have felt extreme guilt. The nice thing is that I had trouble coming up with five! I tend not to do things which make me feel guilty. This either means 1) I have very low standards or 2) I act upon my principles very well (ie: not hurting others, not lying, cheating, or dissembling, staying true to myself, etc . . . ). Anyway, two of the situations I have discussed here. One I've discussed with a few people. The other I may disclose at a later time, as it happened recently. The last . . . I am taking with me to my deathbed ^_^ chill and hang out until then. It will come out, lol . . . I will not die with a guilty conscience! Lol . . .
Also, I noticed something about the things that make me feel guilty: They're mostly about my failings. If I hurt someone, it's double-jeopardy, because I also went back on my resolve to never hurt anybody. Also-- and this one is kind of very weird-- I feel guilty for not figuring out things which are not told to me, particularly within regards to feelings. I feel like I should be in touch with certain types of other people's feelings, but when I am not, I feel terrible about it. For someone so oblivious as me, this causes an awful lot of grief, actually, lol . . .
I think this says a lot about me, everything from a belief in personal resolve to self-perfect to an image of my identity as one of kind, intuitive counselor.
At any rate, I feel clean-conscienced now. As I said, I feel like I've just been through a Confession. It's like a catharsis. It's out in the world; it no longer belongs to me. Maybe I should become Catholic-- but, then, don't you have to like apologize for what you did? I wouldn't mind "making up for it," like with Hail Marys or what have you, but confronting the offended party might be hard, lol . . . though, most of mine, thankfully, are rather victimless guilt; it's all self-imposed, my own failings, as I've said, lol . . .
I did this Psychology experiment today where I had to write down five situations in which I have felt extreme guilt. The nice thing is that I had trouble coming up with five! I tend not to do things which make me feel guilty. This either means 1) I have very low standards or 2) I act upon my principles very well (ie: not hurting others, not lying, cheating, or dissembling, staying true to myself, etc . . . ). Anyway, two of the situations I have discussed here. One I've discussed with a few people. The other I may disclose at a later time, as it happened recently. The last . . . I am taking with me to my deathbed ^_^ chill and hang out until then. It will come out, lol . . . I will not die with a guilty conscience! Lol . . .
Also, I noticed something about the things that make me feel guilty: They're mostly about my failings. If I hurt someone, it's double-jeopardy, because I also went back on my resolve to never hurt anybody. Also-- and this one is kind of very weird-- I feel guilty for not figuring out things which are not told to me, particularly within regards to feelings. I feel like I should be in touch with certain types of other people's feelings, but when I am not, I feel terrible about it. For someone so oblivious as me, this causes an awful lot of grief, actually, lol . . .
I think this says a lot about me, everything from a belief in personal resolve to self-perfect to an image of my identity as one of kind, intuitive counselor.
At any rate, I feel clean-conscienced now. As I said, I feel like I've just been through a Confession. It's like a catharsis. It's out in the world; it no longer belongs to me. Maybe I should become Catholic-- but, then, don't you have to like apologize for what you did? I wouldn't mind "making up for it," like with Hail Marys or what have you, but confronting the offended party might be hard, lol . . . though, most of mine, thankfully, are rather victimless guilt; it's all self-imposed, my own failings, as I've said, lol . . .
