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Read 100-51 here.

50 Flo Rida - Whistle
Spoiler alert! This song is actually about a blowjob.

Damn this song and its insipid whistling that gets stuck in your head for days . . .

49 Outasight - Tonight Is The Night
Eh, this song was mostly annoying. He has a very lazy voice.

48 Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Oh so THAT’s what this song is called . . . I figured it was called It’s Too Cold Outside (For Angels to Fly) or something. I guess that explains why they say “she’s in the A-team” in the song—though I still have no freaking clue what that means. Anyway, I didn’t hear it a ton-- very much surprised it is in the Top 50-- but I did like it. Lyrically it’s freaking depressing-- watching a girl waste away from drug addiction and the horrible circumstances it puts her in--but I like having something a little sadder and soulful mixed in with all the upbeat pop.

47 Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Haha I don’t think I ever heard the real song, but I thoroughly enjoyed the overly attached girlfriend version.

Also, my sister totally makes that creepy face. She and this girl have a lot of facial expressions in common, actually . . .

46 Train - Drive By
So remember in 50 Ways To Say Goodbye when Train was telling everybody the terrible ways his girlfriend died? Now he’s talking about drive bys and needing a two-ply Hefty bag to hold his love. Hmm. Maybe he wasn’t lying.

45 Calvin Harris ft Ne-Yo - Let's Go
Don’t think I ever heard this, but it’s not too bad, though also not particularly special. Also, oh hai Japan.

44 Gym Class Heroes ft. Neon Hitc... - Ass Back Home
I remember this. Didn’t love, but not terrible.

43 Karmin - Brokenhearted
Lol the song that goes “Cheerio!” in it. That’s all I really remember. I do like this better than her other hit on this list, though. I usually let it play through when it came on.

42 B.o.B. ft Taylor Swift - Both Of Us
I don’t remembering hearing this, but it’s not too bad actually. Kind of an odd combination, though . . .

41 Jessie J - Domino
Commented on this last year, don't feel any less meh about it.

40 Adele - Rumor Has It
Not my favorite Adele song, but I love Adele so even my meh songs from her top most things on this list; she basically can do no wrong in my book, lol. And she does do so well with *bitter.*

I do wish Skyfall would have ranked, though. I thought Skyfall was an awesome song in general and pretty much the perfect Bond song, with the sultry ‘60s-throwback vocals and the Bond theme incorporated into the background.

39 Drake ft Rihanna - Take Care
This song is so subtle I think it usually just played out under my radar in the background. It’s not bad or anything, just didn’t draw my attention, so I don’t have much to say about it.

38 Calvin Harris - Feel So Close
The little electronic melody thingy that played after the verses just made me think of etudes, like the little practice exercises for violin. Like I can literally see the notes printed on the page to practice changing between a constant note on one string and changing note on another . . . And yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought about anytime I heard this song, and that’s about it.

37 Rihanna – Diamonds
This song freaking exploded in the end of the year. I don’t think I started hearing it until November and December and then suddenly it was on the radio like 12 times a day. The impression I get of this song is I would have loved it when I was in late elementary school and had a much higher tolerance for repeated “exotic”-sounding minor phrases like this song delivers, but it wore out its welcome on me almost instantaneously after a couple days at work when I was hearing it literally once an hour.

36 Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven
I just looked up the lyrics and apparently this is just about sex so transcendantly mindblowing he uses heaven and church metaphors for it, but every time I heard it this year all I remember hearing was the repetitive “You make me feel like I’ve been locked out of heaven,” so I was under the assumption it was some whiny Friend Zone shit. What a relief!

Bruno Mars, I do have to say though, you are more than a little drama queen. Sex is *heaven*! Devotion is *catching a grenade*! A breakup is *suicide*! You’d think a guy who spends so much time relaxing would be a little more chill.

35 Alex Clare - Too Close
Feels. Like. I. Am. Just. Too. Close. To. Love. You WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP WUMP.

. . . is pretty much how this song goes, with the heavy bass/dubstep/whatever. Though I guess I don’t hate dubstep as much as everybody else, because I didn’t mind. I liked this song during the summer until it started to fall victim to severe overplay and I had to take a break from it (ie: started to switch the channel on it when it came on), but now that it’s popularity has tapered off again I’m fine with it again.

Though I’m also not entirely sure what it’s about. Like Locked Out of Heaven, at first I thought it was about the Friend Zone and needing to put some space between himself and his best friend before he falls too dangerously hard for her (or him? I guess the song never specifies a pronoun), but I guess it’s actually about wanting to end an established romance because he’s *getting in too deep* and it makes him uncomfortable. Which-- there are so many songs about this subject, and I completely and utterly do not and have never related to it. Is commitmentphobia really so rampant? Is everybody else really struggling with so many relationships they want to keep at arm’s length to preserve some illusion of independence and emotional self-sufficiency? (Because you can’t be independent and emotionally self-sufficient in a relationship, of course). Or was I always just too Forever Alone to feel anything but bliss when I detected a mutual romance developing between myself and another person?

Also, seems like a bit of an overly dramatic presentation for a song essentially saying, “I don’t feel ready to commit to you yet.” Maybe he and Bruno Mars should hang out.

34 Usher - Scream
Usher and his one-word titles! Usually then this happens, I like the song, and I guess I liked this one alright. Not my all-time favorite or anything, but enjoyable enough. Usher somehow manages to bring intensity to his party songs. Maybe they’re over the top in that way, but I dunno, they make me feel more invested than somebody with a lazy voice masturbating about how much of a great time they’re having.

33 Katy Perry - Part Of Me
This song usually flew under my radar when it was on, but the few times I acknowledged its presence I thought it was pretty good.

32 Ke$ha - Die Young
Whew, only one Ke$ha song this year! She was late to the OMG WE’RE GONNA DIE SO LET’S PARTY wagon, and yet she was the only one who got the timing right for 2012.

31 Neon Trees - Everybody Talks
Holy crap.

I didn’t like this song from the beginning, as soon as I could make out the scenario the song is describing. The lyrics are rife with the usual cliché love = drugs and addiction metaphor and don’t have much of a cohesive narrative, but essentially this guy is in a relationship and everybody is talking about it, which is causing a problem. So either he’s A-list celebrity or royalty (so relatable!), a character on Gossip Girl, or a preteen stuck in that solipsistic stage where you are certain every single person in your school has noticed your latest zit and think the President probably reads your Twitter. You can bet which one my money’s on.

Also, somehow this girl “made his lips hurt.” What does that even mean?? She bit him? She has herpes? The fuck?

So it was annoying enough the first 8000 times around.

But then after constant airplay for several months, the insipid lyrics gratefully disappeared—and were replaced with a constant drone of whiny indie-hipster-douche “eyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” noises:
It started with a whispeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
And that was when I keeeeeyyyyyyyyyy heeyyyyyyyyyyyy
And then she made meeeyyyyyy lips heeeeyyyyyyyy

Robert and I have actually sent each other texts like, “Fuck, the eeeeeeyyyyyyyyy song is on right now kill me now” and we both instantly know what the other is talking about.
Worst song of the year IMO, and Ke$ha was on the charts. Damn, Neon Trees.

30 David Guetta ft Usher - Without You
Not my favorite, but not bad. It’s Usher in a minor key which I usually like.

29 Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
The first time I heard this song was on my way to work and initially I thought it was Hayley whatsherface from Paramore, Avril Lavigne, or maybe one of those numerous preteen talk-instead-of-sing Disney products. I got to work and pulled up Twitter and Taylor Swift was trending, and figured out I had been mistaken. It’s such a departure from her usual sound and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t particularly like the sound-- the sort of contrived, almost valley girl way she sings and performs the talking interludes-- but on the other hand, opening up to experimentation is a good thing, and I do like that she’s got a sort of self-aware sense of humor to the lyrics (it’s pretty clear they will in fact get back together, lol), which sort of reminds me of P!nk.

28 Pitbull ft Chris Brown - International Love
Oh god what a combination. Thank goodness looking at the title I have no recollection for how this song goes, so I guess at least it wasn’t memorably annoying.

Though the Internet informs me that lyrically, this song is kind of like California Girls for Miami. Hear that, Lebanese and Greek bitches? Ya ain’t got nothing on MIAMI!

27 Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen - Good Time
This song was Owl City and Calry Rae Jepsen? Lol, I definitely heard the song plenty of times but had no idea it was them until now. I liked it, though, it was like the good-times song for the year for m the way Black-Eyed Pea's I Gotta Feeling was for 2010. I also enjoy how the video has them camping, subverting the otherwise cliche going-out theme. But hey-- they don't even have to try, it's always a good time!

26 Phillip Phillips - Home
Another one for the folksy sound that had a revival this year. I liked it.

25 Chris Brown - Don't Wake Me Up
Again . . . I don’t think I heard this until December. Why is it #25? Was this popular really early in the year when I wasn’t listening to the radio and then banned from the airwaves until voting time? I do not understand!

Also, again, FUCK CHRIS BROWN.

24 Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up
This was just kind of slow and too contrived, I didn’t really buy it as genuine tenderness. It just came off like Jason Mraz doing his “heartfelt” shtick.

23 Justin Bieber ft. Big Sean - As Long As You Love Me
Justin, I know you are this generation’s pretty boy heartthrob pop phenomenon, but you really didn’t have to go so far as to steal track names from my generation’s boy bands.

Though at least you’re not as bad as One Direction in that regard . . .

22 Adele - Set Fire To The Rain
I commented on this one last year, how the first time I heard it Tory wiped her hand on my face at the part where she says “watched it burn as I touched your face,” which cracked me up. Again, I like Adele, and I liked this song.

21 David Guetta ft Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On
I’m still amused by anything “David Guetta featuring . . . “ I’m sure it’s all based on contracts and he must have a majority input on the track or something, but considering I have no idea what this man looks or sounds like it’s really hard for me to think of these songs as anything other than the creation of featured artist . . .

But anyway, another catchy, repetitive Nicki Minaj hit that I enjoyed enough on the radio but never blew me away and I probably won’t remember it come this time next year.

20 Katy Perry - Wide Awake
I remember this being very popular just as I was starting work and then fading out for the rest of the year. I never particularly cared for it, but I didn’t mind it, either.

19 Flo Rida - Good Feeling
I think I like the straight-up Levels better (the Etta James sample is by far the best part of the song), but as far as Flo Rida songs go, this was pretty enjoyable, mostly because of the sample.

18 Maroon 5 - One More Night
I’ve talked before about how I usually like every other Maroon 5 hit. I thought this one was okay. I dunno, I think they’re most in their element when they’re pissed off, lol.

17 Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You
I know that’s not what he’s saying-- I think he’s saying “Let me love you, and I will love you until you learn to love yourself” or something-- but that’s all I hear when I hear this song. It got kind of tedious.

16 Ellie Goulding - Lights
I quite liked this song; it had a nice energy, understated but still driving.

15 Rihanna - Where Have You Been
Meh. Again, the Rihanna songs all just sort of flowed into each other . . .

14 Fun. - Some Nights
Lyrically, this was one of my favorite songs of the year, because I think it speaks pretty well to the sort of existential crisis that myself and many other people I know have been going through as twentysomethings trying to find our place in a particularly difficult time to do so. Of course it’s overdramatic in likening a quarter-life crisis to war and martyrs, but at the end of the day I think it’s refreshing to have songs on the radio that are about a struggle of personal identity rather than relationships or the pursuit of sex or success. But of course that’s probably my introverted intuition talking . . .

I also liked the video a lot. How appropriate for the year of the Les Mis movie, to feature another revolution.

13 Pink - Blow Me One Last Kiss
I like Pink, but this is not my favorite. I almost feel like there was supposed to be some joke in the title line, like “Blow me . . . one last kiss” so it’s like she’s yelling to “blow me!” first, but it didn’t end up coming out that way. Wasted opportunity?

12 Nicki Minaj - Starships
I liked this song way more than I have any justification for, lol. I didn’t seek it out, but any time it came on I inevitably ended up singing along, and it was good for dancing to at weddings. I guess it just hit some catchy pop sweet spot without wearing out its welcome, at least as far as I heard it.

11 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
I defer to Colbert’s analysis:

10 Rihanna ft Calvin Harris - We Found Love
Honestly, I think I forgot that We Found Love and Where Have You Been were too different songs until I read this list . . .

9 The Wanted - Glad You Came
This didn’t blow me away but it was catchy and fun, I liked it well enough.

8 Flo Rida ft Sia - Wild Ones
The usual Flo Rida review: I liked the sample but was meh on the entire song.

7 Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know

I really enjoyed this song when it was popular over the summer and I never got sick of it—probably because I guess everyone did and its airplay dropped considerably come fall >.< The sound was so different from the pop hits preceding it and it just didn’t work as like a hip hop or dance remix, which was honestly kind of great, lol. I especially enjoyed the two voice conflicting narratives of the dissolution of a relationship, which reminded me a bit of Postal Service’s Nothing Better.

Though I think I may have enjoyed the Star Wars parody even better than the actual song, lol:

6 Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
I liked Dark Side better, probably because of the minor key. I think I just wasn't in a place in my life for this song to speak to me thematically and otherwise it just wasn't great enough to really capture my attention.

5 Fun. ft Janelle Monae - We Are Young
Also a favorite from over the summer. This is one of those songs that sounded familiar to me before I’d ever heard it, which is generally a good sign. Another example of *something different*-- indie meets the sort of bombasticness of an '80s hair band or something. I enjoyed singing along and it was really easy to harmonize with, given he sings all the notes of the chord any time he holds a sustained syllable . . .

4 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe
I’m surprised this isn’t even higher on the list, lol-- and it's #4! This song reached some kind of pop nirvana, some perfect recipe to appeal to the human pleasure centers, or something. Even if you hated it, you couldn't help but sing along! So despite its flaws and overplay, I don't begrudge it its success at all. I'm sure 50 years from now if it comes on I'll be immediately singing along.

3 Maroon 5 ft Wiz Khalifa - Payphone
Oh hey, another song about phones. But it was the Maroon 5 song I was not destined to like this year.

2 Demi Lovato - Give Your Heart A Break
Really? I didn’t despise this song or anything, but I was negative to neutral. People loved this so intensely it’s #2? Um, okay . . .

1 David Guetta ft Sia - Titanium
Oh David Guetta . . . While electronic hits have been working their way higher and higher up the charts, I was a little surprised to see this one at #1. But I liked this song; I liked the intensifying energy and almost inspirational sound, and I liked the anti-bully message (in contract to the much more ubiquitous anti-cruel lover).

List taken from: Z100's Top Songs of 2012

Previous years: 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007
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