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[personal profile] tabular_rasa
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Definitely save up for longer vacations. I live across the country (and used to live on the other side of the world) from my family and most of my friends, so if I ever want to see any of them I have to budget enough time to get there and make the trip worthwhile. Plus I like to travel to foreign countries, and living in the US it's really hard to go abroad for a three-day weekend-- at least if you actually want to do something before you have to leave again.

Of course, ideally I wouldn't have a mere 14 vacation days to budget per year. I really miss having a summer vacation and built-in winter and spring breaks ):

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By giving them opportunities to be self-sufficient and independent as a child, duh. As a child grows up, s/he should be given more and more freedoms and responsibility, from more unsupervised play, more access to "adult" privileges (computer and phone access, use of a car, etc) and more free choice in their life (pick their own extracurriculars and course of study rather than doing what the parent wants) to more responsibility for personal care (bathing themselves, dressing themselves, remembering to brush their own teeth, etc) and chores to learn how to run a household (cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc). With each transition to more choice and responsibility the parent has a role to teach and supervise at first to ensure the child is capable of handling the new choice or responsibility, and coach them accordingly, but eventually the kid should be left alone with nothing but the assumption they can handle it and a readiness to address it if they don't.*

*Sometimes there's a natural consequence to failing to fulfill a responsibility (eg: You didn't wash the dishes when you were supposed to and now the dishes are unwashed when we need them, so you need to wash them now when the food is even more caked-on and gross) and the parent need only ensure the connection is made between the cause and effect. But sometimes it's necessary to set up additional consequences like grounding, removal of privileges, etc.


In the US right now I think the far bigger problem is children/teens/young adults who are too dependent rather than neglected; a lot of parents could do with less helicopter-ing and more leaving their kids to explore and make mistakes on their own. Kids are really not as fragile as we like to make them out to be.

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Not really. I can't say I've ever made any major decisions solely to avoid "being judged." Now, I've made a lot of decisions based on whether I felt they would help or hinder me in life regarding education and employment, which often has to do with the overall judgement of society (eg: not employing people with certain "unsavory" histories or who don't dress a certain way at an interview, etc), but I think "not getting a job" or "not having enough money to live off of" or "not getting incarcerated" is a bit more severe than "being judged."

Maybe this question actually means to ask whether I've made certain choices in life because of the pressures and potential sanctions by society-- in which case of course yes, and anyone who said otherwise would be lying (or considered a pariah, mentally ill, criminal, etc)-- but I wish they'd frame it that way rather than the rather petty-sounding "fear of judgement." The pressures that make us align to social norms are much bigger than a conscious middle-school style fear of fitting in; they have very real consequences that affect our quality of life. The mantra of "Just do what you want and haters to the left" is a lovely sentiment that applies just fine to superficial questions like whether to wear something "unfashionable" or ride a bike instead of drive a car, but it's not practical on a universal level given that humans are social creatures and advantages disappear if we don't behave according to some mandates of the group. It's often unfair, but it's also unavoidable.

But what would I do if for some reason all human social laws and consequences no longer existed (and yet I still were somehow living in the context I am now)? Well, for starters I'd have wiped my ladytime on my ex-neighbor's face the last time I had to knock on her door to tell her to shut up . . .

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