Feb. 8th, 2012

tabular_rasa: (Fuck!)
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Attraction at first sight? Of course. But love? No.

Being mutually attracted to another person is a good first step towards love, but it does not guarantee it. Love is much deeper than simply being drawn to each other from across a crowded room; you have to do a lot more than just look at someone to love them.

I was very attracted to Robert the first time I met him-- at first physically, and after talking to him, it was clear there was a lot of chemistry between our personalities, too. It's probably the closest to love-at-first-sight I'd ever experienced, in that the interest and desire to pursue was very dramatic straight out of the gate. But I didn't love him after one look, or after one night of talking. That took weeks and months of getting to know each other and sharing bonding experiences. If we'd never seen each other again, I would hardly be justified in saying I loved him; I wouldn't even know him!

At least most people I know don't believe in love at first sight; it seems mostly to be the myth of teens who haven't been in a functional relationship long enough to feel the difference between a crush and real love, or the occasional adult who wants to believe the moment of initial attraction they felt for their current partner was somehow different, special, and fated for whatever reason. (Which I don't exactly understand, because I think the fact you chose to pursue the other person and invest the time to create a history together is a much more romantic gesture than just having been fated). But I guess who can blame them, the way the media makes love out to be all in *one look* or whatever? I think instead of saying, "I knew I loved him/her at first sight," it would be healthier if people said, "I was so attracted to him/her the moment we met, I just had to see where it would go-- and it led to love."

(Too verbose? Well, get used to it. Another favorite myth about love is that you can say little or nothing at all and your partner will automatically understand you. FALSE, TRY AGAIN).

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